Jeff Announces DUMP

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    • #2350
      Jeff Winick
      Participant

      Brad,

      Is it just me or is the hypocrisy so thick you could cut it with a knife? PT/KR now proclaims that things have become much worse and must be addressed?!?!?! You’re kidding me, right? He wasn’t of that opinion during last year’s Drive for Five and his mega-dump trade of which minor leaguer Joey “Monster-Talent” Gathright was the centerpiece. Mr. Klein has been touting Donny Murphy and seeking the likes of Corey Patterson in return!

      In my home, when things look very suspicious, you might hear someone say, “Ma Nishtana Ha Lailah Hazeh”. It means “Why is tonight different from any other night”? With all due respect, but an admitted lack of tact, I think the answer in this case is that certain founding members of COPS are frustrated that they’re not as good at this game as you are, my friend. Does anyone honestly think that the Good Professor/Acting Dean would be so vehement in his posts were he residing comfortably in first place as the result of having traded a prospect or two for a few productive players? Can you really imagine PT/KR being as incensed were he better able to choose and then tout prospects?

      I’ve had enough of the nonsense. I hereby announce the formation of DUMP – Dudes who Use Minor league Prospects.

      Everyone, even you PT/KR, are welcome to join. Put away the pretense, admit who and what you are and join us. Like Brad Lee, himself, come out of the closet, swing your tassels and dump, dump, dump.

      That is all.

      Jeff Winick

    • #2351
      Richard Robbins
      Keymaster

      Jeff,

      Can I join DUMP?

      — Rich

      • #2355
        Jeff Winick
        Participant

        Rich,

        I’ll have to confer with Brad Lee, who, not surprisingly, has final decision making authority with respect to all official DUMP business, but you will have my strongest recommendation.

        Jeff

        • #2356
          Jeff Winick
          Participant

          This just in from The Man, himself:

          I approve wholeheartedly of Rich Robbins’ application for DUMP membership. Recognized as the pre-eminent connoisseur of minor league prospects and one of the great dumpees in the grand history of our league – he is a welcome, nigh, essential member of DUMP. Welcome my friend!!

          Congratulations, Rich.

          Jeff Winick
          Social Secretary, DUMP

    • #2352
      Doug Shabelman
      Participant

      Is entry into DUMP forbidden if a member of COPS? If not, I’d like my application reviewed asap.

      Also for clarification, Joey Gathright was NOT a centerpiece of the deal last year- without remembering vivid details, I believe Curtis Granderson and Jorge Cantu were involved in that transaction as well…..?

    • #2353
      Richard Robbins
      Keymaster

      Is entry into DUMP forbidden if a member of COPS? If not, I’d like my application reviewed asap.

      Hmm. Gotta think about that. COPS has taken on a decidedly nasty, anti-Brad Lee tone lately. DUMP is all about worshipping at the feet of our iconic leader, Brad Lee. I suppose if you were to promise that you wouldn’t participate in that nonsense, your application would receive serious consideration.

      Also for clarification, Joey Gathright was NOT a centerpiece of the deal last year- without remembering vivid details, I believe Curtis Granderson and Jorge Cantu were involved in that transaction as well…..?

      Of course – but now you’re speaking about your perspective. I was speaking only about PT/KR’s perspective. I only wish I had saved a copy of the famous “Monster-Talent” email. If I could reprint certain passages, you would more clearly understand my point.

      Jeff Winick

    • #2354
      Doug Shabelman
      Participant

      Jeff-

      Thanks but the AYMs refuse to worship any false idols– especially a Gambler-doubter such as Brad Lee. I hereby revoke our request.

      Doug

      • #2357
        Jeff Winick
        Participant

        Doug,

        I’m afraid you’re too late. Just prior to receiving your most recent request, this came down from the mountain:

        The application of the AYM for membership in DUMP is hereby denied. This is a man who has been shown the tassels and yet walked away. He’s not worthy of being in the presence of my Putz or my comrade, Mr. Winick’s Wood.

        So, I’m sorry, you can’t quit. You’ve been fired.

        That is all.

        Jeff Winick
        Social Secretary, DUMP

    • #2358
      Mark Kerber
      Participant

      I want to join both organizations. I know that every trade I’ve ever participated in has been fair and equitable to both (or all) parties, except of course on the many occasions when I allowed myself to be fleeced. However, even in the latter category, I went into those deals with my eyes open and have only myself to blame.

      Mark

      P.S. I my view, the current rules work as well as can be hoped for, and maybe “better” than they really should. If people are hosing themselves by giving up the AL All-Star team in exchange for a couple of Carlos Penas, the market itself will discipline them by relegating them to years of lower division finishes.

    • #2359
      Andy Klein
      Participant

      Still not good with the send button on my laptop …

      Anyway, both parties can provide the market with information. I’m sure our resident bond traders, Buddha and Fruit, will approve. Bradley (or is it Jeff?) has done his part by keeping the league informed about Craig “The Man” Hansen. I have (humbly) tried to do the same with the likes of Huber, Clement, and Butler. Should DUMP members see fit to trade huge quantities of major leaguers next year for these aspiring young ballplayers, so be it.

      As for membership, DUMP and C.O.P.S. seem mutually exclusive to me, though I’m willing to make an exception for Kerber. Doug, on the other hand, has sworn allegience to C.O.P.S. And once such allegience is sworn, it cannot be undone …

      -Andy

    • #2360
      Richard Robbins
      Keymaster

      Andy,

      You are sounding rather godfatheresque. Is a blood oath required? COPS sounds somewhat like the Omega house in Animal House. Would that make you Dean Wormer?

      — Rich

    • #2361
      Andy Klein
      Participant

      Yes, Rich. C.O.P.S. must take a hard line. As you can appreciate, it is difficult being part of the USML’s premier freedom-fighting organization, preparing for battle against the league’s dark side.

      For example, earlier this year, I exposed Brad’s multi-stage strategy to once again dominate the league. At the time, several owners — even Jeff Winick! — agreed with my assessment. But once Brad expressed the slightest degree of irritation, the more skittish of our brethern — Jeff again being the prime example — quickly backpedaled and began genuflecting at the Rips’ feet. (Doug … you should be ashamed for even asking if you could join DUMP!!)

      Rich, remember that C.O.P.S. believes in you and will be there to provide you strength in the difficult months and years ahead!!

      -Andy

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