“I don’t pretend to be as well-versed in familial behavior as I am in the science of rotology,” carped the earnest Jeffrey Winick. “But I know this much: this latest move by the Nukes serves a twofold purpose–cement the Championship and weaken an already tenuous relationship between Andy Klein and his brother-in-law Doug Shabelman.
“Let’s not discount the questions that each league owner asked himself that auction morning as he politely edged away from the ever-nauseous Doug Shabelman…where did Shabes sup with Klein the night before? was there a moment–just a moment–when Doug left Andy alone at the buffet?
“Andy can’t continue to hide behind his ‘Herr Doktor Professor’ mask and pretend he’s not the fierce competitor we all know him to be. First the food poisoning, now this…don’t tell me Andy truly believes that Teahan will remain at the KC hot corner for more than three weeks into the 2007 season before Alex Gordon takes over the position for life. I will grant Andy this: in light of his woeful inability to draft decent outfielders (see, e.g., Milt Bradley-$22), I can see why he would acquire former Sox superstar Maggs Ordonez, albeit at $18. So Andy gets a keeper, retains his rightful position as runner-up and –most significantly– gives comfort and aid to the already dynamic Nukes roster.
“I give Doug chops for his valiant, some vulgarians would say ballsy, efforts this year. But there’s no defense against an embittered brother, whether he’s related by blood or by marriage. The 2006 race is over and we’re not even close to the USML trading deadline. I’m so bored and here Blocker’s gone this week, too. What a drag….”