[USML Announce] Berliner's Fire Sale - Part I

[JHWinick at aol.com]

In a message dated 4/5/2006 4:05:46 P.M. Central Daylight Time,  
bljansen at gmail.com writes:

Jeff:
  make me an offer for Jason Childers so you can offer a bundled  deal to any 
team desperate for TB saves (all 17 of 'em) !!
Brad Lee




I was waiting for you to throw down the gauntlet.  Thank you.  I  am now free 
to comment on the quality of the remaining Riptorns that you are no  doubt 
already peddling on an unsuspecting USML.  I can hear you now:
 
"Podsednik is fine - I hear that this little groin thing could clear up any  
day.  He's a LOCK for 70+ stolen bases"
 
"Jim Thome is a 36 year old man with the body of a teenager.  Not only  is he 
guaranteed to hit 40+ home runs, but he could steal a few bases to  boot.  
Injury history??  You have my personal guarantee that he'll be  as healthy as a 
horse."
 
"Adrian Beltre?  Steroids, you say?  I know this guy's mother and  let me 
tell you, he wouldn't take an aspirin without his doctor's advice."
 
"Guys, all I'm asking for is Sizemore, Granderson, Hernandez, Peralta,  Crisp 
or similarly good, but not great keepers.  Better hurry, because I'm  ready 
to go!"
 
Bring it on Bradlee.  You're a little rusty.
 
That is all.
 
Jeff Winick
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