[USML Announce] Winick Continues to Rain on Riptorns' Easter Prospect Parade

[Brad Jansen]

"It's a sad, bitter and lonely Easter," moaned Riptorn co-owner Brad
Jansen.  "The malls are closed, I'm all alone and broke and tickets are all
sold out for every showing of Scary Movie 4--I have no way of getting my
Carmen Electra fix today, and then I come home and read Jeff's latest salvos
against (i) the prospects I traded for and (ii) my remaining impact players
such as Bonderman...I know I can make fun about Jeff's 'closer' Dam Miceli
and his 10.00 ERA, which is just a tick below Fernando Cabrera's, but that
cheapens the debate and that's not what I'm about...

"So, I've had time to reflect today, while I waited in line at the
McDonald's drive-thru for my Easter supper, and I realized that yes I do
have a purpose here, a reason to live, and that's simply to be Jeff Winick's
personal punching bag.  If that's what God had in store for me, then so be
it.  It seems like only yesterday, when I met Jeff for lunch and he handed
me a roster and said, 'Brad Lee, my boy, you will inherit the 3rd best
retention roster in the USML this year--what a way to come back--you have my
Word that this deal is done, especially when the guys all know it's you
coming back...and it seems like just a while back when Jeff said, 'Sorry
about no retention roster but good move getting guys like Bonderman and Wily
Mo, Brad, these guys will either be great keepers or wonderful trade bait,
you're almost as smart as me with this strategy of yours...'

"...so life can and does go on for me, even though my players are either on
the DL, in the minors or on Jeff's Hit List, but I'll survive--hey,
Walgreen's is open ain't it...maybe they're selling some glue..."
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