[USML Announce] Riptorns Despondent - GM Dismissed

[Brad Jansen]

...worse yet that means I'm not contiguous with Buddha anymore, so so much
for Buerhle man trade talks...who does that leave me with...what can I
do...who can I turn to...?

On 8/8/06, JHWinick at aol.com <JHWinick at aol.com> wrote:
>
>  Chicago, IL - In a stunning turn of events, Riptorns management has
> announced that Brad Lee Jansen, general manager of the Riptorns franchise
> and league gadfly has been relieved of day to day responsibilities.  "We
> looked at the standings this morning and saw that our moribund franchise had
> slipped behind the Berliners for heaven's sake.  To our loyal fans and
> followers, we acknowledge that THAT is unacceptable." said Connor Jansen,
> Riptorn CEO.  "We also have been engaging in a thorough evaluation of Brad
> Lee's rebuilding efforts and recognized that he has inexplicably focused on
> young relievers, a category of player identified by noted rotisserie expert
> Jeffrey Winick as being "extremely high risk", said Connor.  "Look, he's a
> nice guy, a heck of a fine writer and a softie when it comes time for
> punishment.  But, a business is a business and Brad Lee just isn't getting
> the job done."  concluded the junior Jansen.
>
> Word out of the Riptorn headquarters is that Brad Lee has been reassigned
> to latrine duty.  An ever upbeat Brad Lee was heard singing while elbow deep
> in efforts to unplug a john this morning.  The tune appeared to be "Putting
> on the Ritz" but the lyrics seemed to relate to baseball:
>
> "If you're blue and you don't know what to do
> and your team is filled with nothing but mutts,
> Dreaming of the Putz....."
>
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