[USML Announce] Dotel It On The Mountain: Indians Await Their Bullpen Saviour--and He's a Riptorn

[Brad Jansen]

The news that in the upcoming offseason the Indians intend to sign Octavio
Dotel as their 2007 closer brought a somber chuckle  to  the lugubrious
Jeffrey  Winick.   "Of course Dotel's a Riptorn, and a $2 one at that," he
sighed.  "It seems that every decent closer will be retained by the Riptorns
or tossed back into the FA pool for an annual, overpriced bait and switch
routine to buy "safe" closers like Chad Orvella and Dan Miceli.  I'm sick of
this.  I'm sick of being outflanked, outmaneuvered and oversstuffed by those
darn Rips.  With all their cheap closers there is little doubt in  my dense,
dark thoughts that Carlos Lee will be retained at what looks like a bargain
price....well, at least I have Matt Garza for only $24 and that's a fair
premium to pay for my Liriano insurance.  I'll be ready for next year,
you'll see, each and every one of you.  Someday I too will touch the
Damon...someday..."
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