[USML Announce] Letter to the Producer of Roto Rooter

Wed Jul 5 09:31:51 EDT 2006

Good point John.  I need to become more of a "the glass is half-full" kind of guy.

Then again, there is this little snippet from today's SportingNews web site:

"The St. Petersburg Times reports that Gomes has a strained rotator cuff ligament. He is being treated with exercises and says he won't have surgery until the offseason. Fantasy Source spin: It's worth seeing what you can get for Gomes while his value is relatively high and his shoulder isn't any worse."

I sure hope he doesn't miss significant time next year as he rehabs from surgery.  Maybe he can avoid surgery completely and just be at risk for further damage next year.  Oops.  There I go being cynical again.

Note to all -- beware of COPS types bearing damaged goods.  It's probably better to work with DUMP-certified owners.

-- Rich

On July 5, 2006, JOHN FRUIT, FAF ADVISORS wrote:

> Rich, just think what Gomes can do when he's healthy if he can 18 HRs before the
>  All-Star break with a bum shoulder. Buddha, you listening?
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Richard E. Robbins  <announce at usml.net>
> At:  7/03 12:32:18
> 
> You turned Napoli into Patterson and sore-shouldered, I hit dingers in April
> only, J. Gomes, into Johnny Damon.  Quit yer fussin Mr. Perfessor -- you are
> one dangerous man!
> 
>   _____
> 
> From: announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On Behalf
> Of Andrew R. Klein
> Sent: Monday, July 03, 2006 12:26 PM
> To: 'USML Announcements'
> Subject: RE: [USML Announce] Letter to the Producer of Roto Rooter
> 
> 
> 
> .237?!  That's just a tick under Nick Swisher's career average, and he's
> worth Ichiro.  So I'm not sure I got a very good deal under current market
> conditions ...
> 
> 
> 
> -Andy
> 
> 
> 
> -------------------------------------
> 
> Andrew R. Klein
> 
> Indiana University School of Law-Indianapolis
> 
> (317) 274-2099
> 
> 
> 
>   _____
> 
> From: announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On Behalf
> Of springkerb at aol.com
> Sent: Monday, July 03, 2006 12:30 PM
> To: announce at usml.net
> Subject: Re: [USML Announce] Letter to the Producer of Roto Rooter
> 
> 
> 
> Andy:
> 
> Considering that Napoli hit .237 in AA last year, he's probably on the Sal
> Fasano end of the spectrum of Italian catchers, as opposed to the Mike
> Piazza end.  But it's very shrewd of you to paint yourself as the
> mild-mannered rube while you're trolling for your next victim.
> 
> 
> 
> Regardless, you fleeced Brad completely.  Two years from now, when you have
> Patterson in the third year of his contract, everyone is still going to be
> wondering what the heck Brad was thinking.
> 
> 
> 
> Mark
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Andrew R. Klein <anrklein at yahoo.com>
> To: 'USML Announcements' <announce at usml.net>
> Sent: Mon, 3 Jul 2006 08:56:56 -0400
> Subject: [USML Announce] Letter to the Producer of Roto Rooter
> 
> Dear Mr. Winick:
> 
> 
> 
> Given your status as a nationally-recognized (indeed, pixilated) author, I
> would expect your staff to engage in better fact-checking before allowing
> guests like Brad Jansen to perpetuate scurrilous lies on your show.
> 
> 
> 
> As you could have learned with just a bit of investigation, Mr. Jansen
> offered Corey Patterson to the Klein Nine for Casey Kotchman - not the other
> way around.  I promptly accepted the offer, only to receive a bizarre
> message in response.  The message was somewhat muffled, but went something
> like this:  "Um, I really need to check with Mike on this one ... I mean,  I
> checked with Mike and he said no ... ummm, I mean, I need $2 more salary
> even though I'm well above the cap ... so, you have to give me Mike Napoli,
> too."
> 
> 
> 
> I screamed, stomped my feet, held my breath, and then caved in.  Now the
> Riptorns own one of the AL's best catchers at $5.
> 
> 
> 
> The real story is that USML is again under siege.  C.O.P.S. willing, the
> stronger members of our league will be able to stop the reign of terror this
> time around.  You should be with us, Mr. Winick, not against us.
> 
> 
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> 
> 
> Andy Klein
> 
> Owner, Klein Nine
> 
> C.O.P.S. Member since 2006
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>   _____
> 
> From: announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On Behalf
> Of Brad Jansen
> Sent: Sunday, July 02, 2006 11:35 AM
> To: USML Announcements
> Subject: [USML Announce] While Klein Nine Slumber, Rips Take a Nice Napoli
> 
> 
> 
> "It all started off so innocently," recalled the ever-reticent  Riptorns
> CEO Brad Jansen on Jeffrey Winick's late night cable show Roto Rooter.
> "Klein was badgering me for Corey Patterson and offered up the infirm Casey
> Kotchman.  I was more than happy to accomodate Andy because he was really
> upset and hurt about my deals with the Red Hots and Nukes.  I told Andy I
> needed a boost to my salary floor to make the deal happen.  When he scoffed
> at Zumaya for Hansen, we came up with Shoppach for Napoli.  I wasn't too
> pleased because it only added $3 to my floor but I must tell you I'm quite
> happy now."
> 
> Winick agreed that this could very well be the sleeper deal of the decade.
> "Napoli has cut down on the strikeouts and shortened his swing.  And look at
> the power numbers: ten taters before the A-S Break, second only to Ramon
> Hernandez among AL catchers.  This man is a power hitting catcher, even
> rarer these days than a reliable closer.  I never doubted that Andy Klein
> wore blinders when it came to appreciating the talents and abilities of
> other teams' players...I didn't want to think until now that he knew as
> little about his own players...and now where does this find him?  Trading
> mediocrity like Johnny Gomes for the likes of Johnny Damon. A pitiful way to
> fight for fourth place, and I can only pray that the reading public never
> catches a glimpse of him with my baseball fantasy magazine--it would
> devastate my sales...."
> 
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