[USML Announce] Not So Fausto: Winick Disses New Indians "Closer"

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BUEHRLE FOR UPTON GONNA GET DONE?? 
 
 
-----Original Message-----
From: bljansen at gmail.com
To: announce at usml.net
Sent: Mon, 31 Jul 2006 9:50 PM
Subject: [USML Announce] Not So Fausto: Winick Disses New Indians "Closer"


    After watching Fausto Carmona get bombed for 7 earned runs in 1.1 innings tonight and yesterday, Jeffrey Winick, Chairman of the DUMP Committee on Closer Candidates, pronounced Fernando Cabrera fit for a try-out.

     "I know Brad took a lot of heat for his trade to acquire Cabrera last April, and I know he beat himself upa bit over it, too," opined the roto genius.  "But Cabrera's got the best stuff in that Indians  pen and I have no doubt that he will fulfill Baseball America's prophecy that he will assume the closer's role no later than the first week of spring training 2007, if not tomorrow night. Cabrera has quietly lowered his ERA from 13.88 down to 5.75 and he's striking batters out at a frenetic pace.  Carmona demonstrated tonight that he lacks the stones to close.  So, Cabrera's time is coming and I'm tying on my kerchief, grabbing that black leather lasso and jumping on that bandwagon.   The excitement going forward  this season  is not about how many points the Nukes beat the Angries, it's the performance of so many fine young Riptorns...will Howie Kendrick ever get less than two knocks a game?  I shudder at the greatness of the young Riptorn talent.  Now fetch me a blanket and warm up my tea."     

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