[USML Announce] Kenny Rogers, Over and Out

[Brad Jansen]

As gleeful White Sox fans watch the Pale Hose sweep the toothless Tigers out
of first place by mauling lefty twirler and rueful pugilist Kenny Rogers,
the Angry Young Men were forced to confront the ugly reality that Rogers'
descent into his usual mediocrity continues unabated.

"When Douglas Shabelman called me after Rogers' last pasting and asked for
my sage advice, I told him to move Rogers as quickly as possible to a
rebuilding team," intoned League spokesmodel Jeff Winick. "I particularly
stressed that he should trade Rogers to his brother-in-law because Andy so
much likes cheap veteran pitchers and is vehemently opposed to dumping for
unproven talent.  Rogers has proven himself, time and time again, so I
figured the Klein-9 was Shabes' natural trading partner.

"After tonight's fiasco, who knows?  I do remain confident that the Angries
have decent pitching depth, even with the Mariners sending down the highly
touted S. Green. But they need Colon more than ever, and a bounce back by
Garland will let them coast to 1st place easily. And the fact of the matter
is that the number 1 Nukes desperately needed Rich Harden, especially with
Schilling showing his age.  Now Harden likely is toast for the season,
leaving the Nukes very vulnerable in the pitching categories, especially
when they so quickly threw Brad Halsey under the bus for the likes of Sexson
and Thornton. Bottom line: give the edge to the Angries, even with Rogers
still on their active roster, but don't ever, ever rule out the Nukes.  That
is all, unless someone needs to call me about Punto."
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