[USML Announce] Casilla Later! Twins New Second Sacker Promises SBs Aplenty for Joyous Rips

[Brad Jansen]

Mark:
  Minor league stats only tell half the story of a man's measure.  Let's see
what young Alexi does in the Big Show.
BLJ

On 7/30/07, springkerb at aol.com <springkerb at aol.com> wrote:
>
> No doubt this guy hits for high average and has terrific on-base
> skills.  How about sharing his minor league stats, Brad, so we can all
> get a look at the next Ricky Henderson?
>
> Mark
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
> To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
> Sent: Mon, 30 Jul 2007 7:04 pm
> Subject: [USML Announce] Casilla Later! Twins New Second Sacker
> Promises SBs Aplenty for Joyous Rips
>
>
>
>
>
>
> While the K-9 fret over the loss of Mark Texeiera and now must consider
> new rapid-fire dump strategies before the trade deadline, and while the
> Berliners regain their mojo in the Quest for Second, and while
> the Nukes ponder exactly why and what happened to Dukes and Dotel, the
> Rips popped the bubbly in celebration of the Luis Castillo trade to the
> Mets.
>
>
> "We're not happy that a fellow USML owner lost a player to the NL.
> Indeed such news never brings us joy, but we're quite delighted that
> Twins uber-prospect Alexi Casilla will now be able to get his legs wet
> a bit in the bigs this season," exclaimed the always chirpy Riptorns
> CEO Brad Jansen. "Many thought the key to the Rips-Daddies blockbuster
> deal was getting Dice K away from the Gams Man. Not quite. Because for
> my hard-earned money, the deal went down due to Alexi. This kid has
> speed to burn...he's like Scotty Pods except (a) he's only $5, (b)he
> plays second base, (c) he stays healthy and (d) he is not yet married
> to a Playmate. We're quite excited this day."
>
>
> League financial analyst and social critic Jeffrey Winick concurred.
> "Of all the garbage strewn about in these damnable dump trades this
> season, the Casilla acquisition very well may represent the best return
> on investment. In quantifiable terms some of you may understand, the
> young second sacker is a 'keeper' at $5 and I estimate a plus $20
> return next year, and that's if he steals only 20 bags. Fifty is far
> more likely according to the profiles I've read. In fact I think he's
> already stolen two bases as I dictated these thoughts to my assistant.
>
>
> "So Kudos to Brad Lee. He's an asswipe, no doubt, but he knows how to
> use that toilet paper. And that's what's it all about, compadres."
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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