[USML Announce] "The Butler Did It--Rips Team To Beat In '09"--excerpt from Jeffrey Winick's Last Lecture Series

[Brad Jansen]

As the sun sets on Jeffrey Winick's championship reign, as the darkness
slowly shrouds the Damon, as Jeffrey's grasp of Reality grows weaker, the
King has turned somewhat thoughtful these days, reflecting on the past, yet
musing hopefully about the future.

This then, is the first excerpt of the Jeffrey Winick Last Lecture series,
taken almost verbatim from his wheezing pontifications about the state of
the USML.  In today's installment, Mr. Winick opines on the Riptorns' 2009
championship dreams....

(Dictated but not read by Mr. Winick):
   It's been a struggle but I really believe Brad Lee got it right this
time, living in the moment, fulfilling his dreams of an all-Royals
roster...Greinke, .Gordon, Butler, Hochevar...names that inspire me, but
wait, there's so much more: Alexei Ramirez and Evan Longoria and Carlos
Quentin and Brian Roberts...that ain't too shabby when you think about
it...then there's rising stars like the Adams (Lind and Jones), pitching
studs like Francisco Liriano and O's closer Chris Ray...and I haven't even
glanced at the minors....but who needs prospects when one enjoys such deep,
developed and undervalued talent....2009 belongs to the Rips and I...well, I
belong to the ages...and someday Brandon Wood will learn to hit a breaking
ball, but trust me I'll try trading him before that ever happens.  Now,
please, hand me a glass of water and fan me...all this thinking hurts my
head and I'm getting feverish....
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