[USML Announce] Madam, I'm Adam: An Appreciation Of Adam Jones, By Jeffrey Horatio Winick

jhwinick at aol.com jhwinick at aol.com
Thu Apr 16 16:10:38 EDT 2009


Just a shot in the dark, but here goes:

The Bombers announce that they have traded David Price and some miscellaneous schmuck to the Red Hots for King Felix and Matt Garza.

Am I close?

TOeFuKi


-----Original Message-----
From: Blocker, Mark B. <mblocker at Sidley.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Thu, 16 Apr 2009 3:55 pm
Subject: RE: [USML Announce] Madam, I'm Adam: An Appreciation Of Adam Jones, By Jeffrey Horatio Winick





Brad:

?

? Thank you for your "advertisement."? Can we now get back to our regularly scheduled program and get on with the news?

?

? On the subject of "news," the Bombers announce that they are activating David Price (contract running), who of course does not require an advertisement in order for readers to know who he is.

?

? Please also look for the Bombers 4:15 p.m. news conference concerning the future of David Price.

?

? -- Mark Blocker, owner, Block's Bombers.



From: announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On Behalf Of Brad Jansen
Sent: Thursday, April 16, 2009 11:00 AM
To: USML Announcements
Subject: [USML Announce] Madam, I'm Adam: An Appreciation Of Adam Jones,By Jeffrey Horatio Winick





My Dear Owners:

?? ?By now you have read the gushing reviews and?accolades about young Adam Jones, the incredible 10-tool OF off to a blistering start for the Orioles--the?ballplayer most touted to have a break-out year.? Well, I have observed enough of his performance and I have measured a sufficient sample of his growth and development over the last three seasons that?I can share quite comfortably?my irrebutable conclusion that the lad is for real. He can run, he can hit, he can excel in all 5 Roto categories; in so many words and phrases, he can and will do it all.??

??? Unfortunately for the Berliners, I have adopted a strategy?this year of only trading for minor leaguers whose contracts have begun running (I do this as a handicap, so the rest of you have some faint?chance to defeat me both next year and thereafter).? And, as you know, once I select a strategy I stick to it, at least as long as I can justify it, because I am a?roto genius.? Nevertheless, I tip my baseball cap to Adam Jones.????? 

???And even though I dare not make an offer for him (as if I had players even worthy of consideration), I can enjoy His Greatness. For I have a jones for Adam. I truly do.

?? And that is all.? For now.

?

With warmest regards this wonderful spring morning,

I remain,

Yours forevermore,

?

Jeffrey H. Winick?????




?

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