[USML Announce] USML Summit

Tue Jun 1 21:29:53 EDT 2010

Man (John Cleese): (entering a shop) Um, excuse me, is this the undertaker's? 
Undertaker (Graham Chapman): Yup, that's right, what can I do for you, squire?

Man: Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. My mother has just died and I'm not quite sure what I should do.

Undertaker: Ah, well, we can 'elp you. We deal with stiffs.

Man: Stiffs?

Undertaker: Yea. Now there's three things we can do with your mum. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her.

Man: Dump her?

Undertaker: Dump her in the Thames.

Man: What?

Undertaker: Oh, did you like her?

Man: Yes!

Undertaker: Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well, what do you think: burn her, or bury her?

Man: Um, well, um, which would you recommend?

Undertaker: Well they're both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which you can pretend are hers.

Man: Oh.

Undertaker: Or, if you don't wanna fry her, you can bury her. And then she'll get eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which isn't so hot if, as I said, she's not quite dead.

Man: I see. Um. Well, I.. I'm not very sure. She's definitely dead.

Undertaker: Where is she?

Man: In this sack.

Undertaker: Let's 'ave a look.

Umm, she looks quite young.

Man: Yes, she was.

Undertaker: (over his shoulder) FRED!

Fred (Eric Idle): (offstage) Yeah?

Undertaker: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER!

Fred: I'll get the oven on!

Man: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you suggesting we should eat my mother?

(pause)

Undertaker: Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She'd be delicious with a few french fries, a bit of stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips)

Man: What!? 

(pause)

Man: Actually, I do feel a bit peckish - No! NO, I can't!

Undertaker: Look, we'll eat your mum. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.

Man: All right.
(Stavro Arrgolus)

-----Original Message-----
From: Jeff Winick <jhwinick at aol.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Tue, Jun 1, 2010 9:21 pm
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] USML Summit

In Buddhas case, i'm hoping canibalism. In my case, um....not canibalism. 

Sent from my iPhone

On Jun 1, 2010, at 9:12 PM, springkerb at aol.com wrote:

Although I know I shouldn't go in this direction, what kind of "eat" are you talking about here?

Mark

-----Original Message-----
From: Jeffrey H. Winick <JHW at steinrayharris.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Tue, Jun 1, 2010 6:59 pm
Subject: RE: [USML Announce] USML Summit

You're welcome to eat the Gores.  I'll pass.  If I'm going to eat a politician, I'd take Palin.

From: announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On Behalf Of Bbuddhas
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2010 6:48 PM
To: USML Announcements
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] USML Summit

Let's pretend we ate the Gores.  Not talk to each other then split. 

Sent from my iPhone

On Jun 1, 2010, at 6:38 PM, "Jeffrey H. Winick" <JHW at steinrayharris.com> wrote:

Now don't go and get conservative on me.  Wait...let me   try that again.  How about we pretend I'm Haliburton and you're   George Bush/Dick Cheney.  Shall we see if they can order in some   overpriced filet mignon?

  From: announce-bounces at usml.net   [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On Behalf Of   Bbuddhas
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2010 6:33 PM
To: USML   Announcements
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] USML   Summit

I should be there.   Winick.  Single cheese only!!!

Sent   from my iPhone

On Jun 1, 2010, at 5:41 PM, "Blocker, Mark B." <mblocker at Sidley.com>   wrote:

The     date/time is set.  We will meet this Friday, June 4 at 12:15 at Billy     Goat at 309 W. Washington.

Attendees:     Blocker, Winick, Jansen, Kerber, and Buddha (if he can make     it).

From: announce-bounces at usml.net     [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On Behalf Of     Bbuddhas
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2010 5:36 PM
To:     USML Announcements
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] USML     Summit

Tell me a date when one is     selected. If I can't make it I will call Jeffs brother.  I owe Winick a     lunch from a long ago Edwin Encarnacion bet.  

Sent from my     iPhone

On Jun 1, 2010, at 3:56 PM, springkerb at aol.com     wrote:

Either       would work for me, but 6/11 is a bit better.

Mark

-----Original       Message-----
From: Richard Robbins <RERobbins at iTinker.net>
To:       'USML Announcements' <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Tue,       Jun 1, 2010 11:20 am
Subject: RE: [USML Announce] USML       Summit

Thursday       June 3?

Friday       June 11?

From:       announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On       Behalf Of Blocker, Mark B.
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2010       11:14 AM
To: USML Announcements
Subject: RE: [USML       Announce] USML Summit

Mark       K./Brad: thoughts?

Rich,       what alternative day?

From:       announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On       Behalf Of Richard Robbins
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2010 11:08       AM
To: 'USML Announcements'
Subject: RE: [USML       Announce] USML Summit

Can       we pick another day?  I've got a lunch meeting on Friday with Grant       Mulvey -- who is now a sales rep at our financial printer.  It's       always fun talking Blackhawks hockey with him and I expect it will be       especially interesting now.

From:       announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On       Behalf Of Blocker, Mark B.
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2010       10:56 AM
To: announce at usml.net
Subject:       [USML Announce] USML Summit

Downtown       USML-ers and other interested parties:

        I would like to propose that all of the downtown USML owners meet for       lunch at the Billy Goat (or other place to be determined) this Friday,       June 4, at 11:45 a.m.  The purpose of this lunch will be (a) to allow       me to pay off the debt I owe to Brad that Andy assigned to me, (b)       determine what actions can/should be taken to remedy the fact that Andy is       still in first place on June 1, and (c) general conversation.  Let me       know if you can attend.

        -- Mark B.

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