[USML Announce] Blake Wood Latest Member Of Riptorns' Closer Caravan

[Blocker, Mark B.]

Brad:

 

  I have to say that I thought you purchased "Blake" Brandon Wood only
to prove that you could successfully purchase anyone named B. Wood (or
you were collecting players named "B. Wood").

 

  -- Mark B.  

 

From: announce-bounces at usml.net [mailto:announce-bounces at usml.net] On
Behalf Of Brad Jansen
Sent: Tuesday, May 25, 2010 1:25 PM
To: USML Announcements
Subject: [USML Announce] Blake Wood Latest Member Of Riptorns' Closer
Caravan

 

"Don't think for a moment that my genius is spent only on managing my
championship team," intoned the wizened Jeffrey Winick, as he spread sun
tan lotion over his pale forehead at a local, undisclosed spa. "Look, to
get to the top....and to remain there, it's absolutely essential to
scout other teams.  And today, I want to note the fact that the Rips are
assembling an array of closer talent. the likes of which this league has
never seen.  It's not only the AL's next Mariano Rivera, the $2 Neftali
Feliz, that I stupidly traded away. But look at who else they have
acquired: the $5 Chris Perez, a flamethrower who already demonstrated
his prowess when Kerry Wood was disabled earlier this season; a $5
Sergio Santos, groomed for closer duties so he's primed for the pump
once Jenks gets traded to the Phillies.  And now look at who they
acquired: the Royals' replacement for Soria, once he gets traded, the
one and only Blake Wood ($5). This talented youngster sports a .190 Ba
against, a 0.75 WHIP and a microscopic ERA.    

 

"That's an awesome array of arms to complement the undervalued likes of
Brett Anderson, Trevor Cahill and Gio Gonzalez (i.e., the A's best
starting pitchers).  And if things don't start improving for my club, I
very well may look to dump for some of these guys.

 

"That is all, except I need to remind everyone to enjoy Memorial Day and
get ready to move your minor leaguers."  


 
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