[USML Announce] Not Manny Happy Returns For Squids

[springkerb at aol.com]

Translation:  Manny has more money than he can ever spend and would rather smoke high-grade Kush than deal with baseball.  He'll soon be hanging with Charlie Sheen and collecting goddesses.  (It's possible this is actually about PEDs, but the dreads say that's not what Manny is all about.)  The Nukes are deeply saddened at this turn of events.
 

 


 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Fri, Apr 8, 2011 5:33 pm
Subject: [USML Announce] Not Manny Happy Returns For Squids


ITEM:

Manny Ramirez is retiring as a player, Major League Baseball announced

in a statement issued Friday afternoon.



The statement said Ramirez had "an issue" under MLB's Joint Drug

Prevention and Treatment Program and informed the league he is hanging

it up rather than "continue with the process under the program."



LOSER: LMC's $11 investment returns nothing but heartache and

ridicule.  Question remains: can Bautista carry the club's offensive

load over the course of this long season?  Trend is FISHY.



WINNER: Klein Nine.  Andy Klein's brilliance further reveals itself as

Rays recall the inestimable Casey Kotchman to replace Ramirez.

Kotchman, one of the last players selected in the rotation draft,

becomes a vital cog in K-9 batting machine now that Adrian Gonzalez

has forgotten to hit. Trend is UPWARD.

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