[USML Announce] What Am I About? The Truth. It's Time To Open---The Everett Files....

[anrklein at gmail.com]

Sounds to me like I saved $13 and got 34 extra batting average points to  
boot. Give me some props, Mr. Truth!

-Andy

On , Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com> wrote:
> What are you about? -Andy



> The Truth. So today we answer Today's Question: Who Are The Worst  
> Retainees Not Named Edwin Jackson?



> The Answer: Pick your poison.



> In this corner, weighing in at $39, is the illustrious Carl Crawford.  
> Almost 160 AB, and this man has gotten his average up to .208, with a  
> single home run, 10 RBI, 13 RBI and a whopping 6 stolen bases. He'll  
> continue to see plenty of action in the ninth hole, which come to think  
> of it is the Hole of Damnation.




> And in the other corner, my brothers, is the $26 dynamo out machine by  
> the name of Juan Pierre. Beloved by his manager, but not by Sox fans,  
> this guy is about to see his skinny ass either in that Ninth Hole or  
> riding the pines so he can watch a real ball player like Dayan Viciedo  
> (Riptorns, $1). In the meantime, Juan's earned 160 AB to bat an  
> awful .242 (OBP of .313, believe it), scoring a grand total of 13 runs as  
> a lead-off hitter, while getting thrown out 8 of 14 times trying to steal  
> a base.




> Now, any wonder why the Berliners are in last and the Klein Nine are  
> doomed to fall from grace as soon as the Calamari see the Light and pray  
> for a closer?



> That, my friends, is The Truth.




-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://usml.net/pipermail/announce_usml.net/attachments/20110517/861f6a3b/attachment-0001.html>