[USML Announce] Jesus Doesn't Want Jeffrey For A Rainbow

[Brad Jansen]

Dear Jeffrey:
  So nice to hear from you and to know your standard rhetorical flourishes
have not altered since you last sat on the throne: attack your
opponent's position and platform when you have nothing of value to offer. I
am happy to hear that your many players who performed so poorly all season
have had a couple good weeks. That's certainly a basis upon which to retain
them. So, good luck and quit distorting my players' records. Why not talk
about positives, like young Moustakas's 15-game hitting streak or Walden's
phenomenal run over his last 10 games (2 wins, 4 saves, 0.93 ERA, 13 Ks/9.2
IP) or how wonderful Nick Swisher has performed since you traded him to me?
  I, sir, walk the high ground. And I will write my songs, songs which next
year will tell the tale of how yet again I finished ahead of you in the
USML.
Brother Brad

On Tue, Sep 6, 2011 at 3:21 PM, Jeffrey Winick <jhwinick at aol.com> wrote:

> Angry and bitter?  Not a chance.  Is Brian Matusz going to cost me $7 next
> year in lost draft dollars.  Probably.  The only other guaranteed contract
> is Carlos Santana and his 21 home runs for $11.  What about that isn't
> positive?
>
> Mike Trout has 4 home runs, 8 rbis, 11 runs and a sweet .325 average over
> the last 21 days.  And he may still retain rookie status.
> Jesus Montero looks like the real deal.  And his $2 salary should make up
> for the Matusz problem almost all by itself.
> Eric Hosmer is en fuego with 3 home runs, 8 rbis and a stolen base in the
> last week.  A $5 contract.
> Austin Jackson has 2 home runs, 5 rbis, 12 runs, 2 stolen bases and an
> amazing .471 batting average over the last week (.346 over the last 3
> weeks).  Another $5 contract.
> Neftali Feliz hasn't given up a run since August 6th and has reaffirmed his
> role as one of the top closers in baseball.  Another $2 contract.
> Matt Moore has been proclaimed as the consensus #1 minor league pitching
> prospect.  Another $5 contract.
>
> There is great anticipation for the coming season at Berliner headquarters.
>  All is well.
>
> But I appreciate that you're looking for excuses to focus on ANYTHING other
> than your own team, Brad Lee.  My condolences about your failed prospects
> with running contracts (Moustakas (1HR, 22RBI, 0SB, .228), Chisenhall (32k's
> in 132 AB), Mike Carp (27k's in last 76 AB), Sergio Santos (last 7 innings,
> 7.50, 1.67 WHIP), Jordan Walden (9 blown saves in 37 chances), Carlos
> Carrasco (hurt) and Tyson Ross (hurt)....)  And then there's your not ready
> for time prospects like Jacob Turner.
>
> At least you have Desmond Jennings to watch for the next couple of years
> while you wait for a potential return to relevance.  Until then......there's
> always your lovely songs.
>
> That is all.
>
> The King
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
> To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
> Sent: Tue, Sep 6, 2011 11:39 am
> Subject: [USML Announce] Jesus Doesn't Want Jeffrey For A Rainbow
>
>
> NEW YORK -- Jesus Montero reached across the plate and sent a 93-mph pitch
> about a dozen rows deep into the right-field seats for his first major
> league home run, a tiebreaking solo shot in the fifth. A Labor Day crowd of
> 45,069 at Yankee Stadium coaxed him out for a curtain call.
>
> Two innings later, he leaned for a 94-mph pitch on the outside corner and
> drove it 10 rows into those same right-field seats, a little bit more toward
> the foul line. He had another opposite-field homer, a two-run shot. Curtain
> call No. 2 followed.
>
> WINNERS: All of us, even the new owner. Montero is the most exciting player
> to grace our presence since...since....Mike Trout.
>
> LOSER: Jeffrey Winick. Angry and bitter over guaranteed contracts he must
> carry over to 2012. Has yet to see the light.
>
>
>
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