[USML Announce] Rips Don't Strop Believin'

[Brad Jansen]

*ITEM
*

Doctors are still trying to determine the illness plaguing Jim Johnson, who
remained in the hospital on Wednesday.
 "[They're] still running tests, eliminated some things, haven't completely
identified it," Orioles manager Buck Showalter said. "He's getting a little
frustrated." The O's originally thought Johnson merely had the flu, but it
sounds like it could be something else. It might be wise for Johnson owners
to go ahead and grab Pedro Strop, who picked up his first major league save
Tuesday and should continue to handle the ninth inning for now.

*LOSER*
Flaming Brats. Acquisition of fast fading veteran Pujols pales to news of
Johnson's deathbed vigil as team's fortunes *TWIST IN THE WIND.  *

*WINNER*
Riptorns. Picked up Os' new flamethrowing closer due to K-9's unwillingness
to navigate FAAB site, now prepared to ride to top of saves category
on a*FULL FORCE GALE.
*
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