[USML Announce] USML: The Week That Was

[Brad Jansen]

*FLAMING BRATS: *Commandeered top spot and won't let go as offense perks up
with addition of Berry. This team has tasted success and it's* BUN APETIT
FOR THE BRATS! *
**
*NUKES: *Inspired trade for Salty created good karma that continues
to surround this team--but will dump deals be hampered *BY A SOLER ECLIPSE?
*
**
*BERLINERS: *Failure to close deal with Red Hots for Verlander leaves owner
boiling. Next shoe that drops is Youk's trade to the Dodgers *AS TEAM'S
STUMBLES CONTINUE*.

*HOOSIER DADDIES: *Phoenix-like resurgence inspires all except fretful
Winick as team awaits return of DL'd players for *SECOND-HALF SURGE.*
**
*LAKE MICHIGAN CALAMARI: *Sputtering offense may not enable team to hold
off mediocrities like the Klein Nine as it's time *TO REEL 'EM IN.*
**
*ANGRY YOUNG MEN: *Offense pummeling opposition, but look at that pitching
and ask whether to *LEAVE IT TO BEAVEN.*
**
*KLEIN NINE: *Draft day steal Encarnacion leads offense in charge against
Berliners, a team desperate for closers but still insists *DON'T BRING ME
DOWNS.*

*MIGHTY RED HOTS: *McCourt-like scandal threatens to place team in league
trusteeship, where Winick will try to maneuver votes to approve trade of
Verlander to Berliners--*THANKS, BUT NO DANKS!*
**
*BLOCK'S BOMBERS: *Inspired FAAB pick of Avery and two Hollands on staff
are team's few bright spots while team fields offers from Berliners, who
know *IT's UP TO CHOO*.

*RIPTORNS: *A team that already boasts the league's premier players in OF,
3B and SS now heralds Matusz as a new ace as this squad is *READY TO EXPLODE
*.

*AFV: *Clock ticking on efforts to trade Fuentes before Ryan Cook assumes
closer role for A's so it's *TIME TO CALL WINICK!*
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