[USML Announce] Searching For Gems in Berliners' Rockpile of a Roster

Jeffrey Winick jhwinick at aol.com
Wed May 23 12:09:53 EDT 2012


With friends like you, sir.....

But if you're coming after me, how about we allow at least a kernel of 
truth into the discussion.

Eric Hosmer is struggling, but he's still managed to hit 5 home runs 
and knock in 20.  And he's still just $5.
Austin Jackson regressing?  He has 20 walks to go with those 29 
strikeouts.  And he's hitting .331 with 5 home runs, 17 rbis, 6 stolen 
bases and 29 runs.  He'll never be a SB threat again?  Why is that?  He 
is working through a minor abdominal injury and should be playing today.
Ivan Nova now has 52 strikeouts in his 42 innings.  He's still a work 
in progress, but at $2, there's a lot to like here.
Matt Moore looks lost.  But that just makes for a greater opportunity 
to steal him from me.
Grant Balfour is a piece of crap that Brad Lee pitched to me as a top 
notch closer.  Move on - there's nothing to see here.

Of course, Brad Lee doesn't mention:

Carlos Santana and his 5-22-21 numbers as a catcher at $11
or
Ryan Doumit and his 5-24-13 numbers as a catcher at $8
or
Asdrubal Cabrera and his 5-19-22 numbers as a shortstop at $13
or
Nick Swisher and his 7-27-15 numbers for $19
or
Jake Peavy and his 5 wins, 2.39 ERA, .0906 Whip and 55 strikeouts at $9 
  (and just to beat you to it, it's more likely he ends up with the Red 
Sox, Yankees or Rangers than in the NL)

and we haven't even mentioned the beans, like:

Wil Myers, the man proclaimed by ESPN (and our very own Brad Lee 
Jansen) as the best prospect in baseball
or
Manny Machado, BB America #11 prospect
or
Francisco Lindor, BB America #37 prospect
or
Taijuan Walker, the Seattle pitcher that gave them the confidence to 
trade away Pineda and the BB America #20 prospect

So, wax on about the absence of "good stuff" on the Berliners roster.  
I'm guessing that you're not buying the BS if you've read this far.

You know where to find me.

Jeff


-----Original Message-----
From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Wed, May 23, 2012 9:59 am
Subject: [USML Announce] Searching For Gems in Berliners' Rockpile of a 
Roster


Sir Jeffrey:
   Nice peacock strut.
   For those owners who are short on the time it will take them to 
identify the "best stuff" on your team to acquire via a lop-sided dump 
deal, I have assembled the info for them:
     Eric Hosmer: .177 BA in 158 AB; heading to minors
     Austin Jackson: Up to 29 Ks as regresses to old ways, DL-bound, 
may never be SB threat again
      Ivan Nova: 5.69 ERA/1.65 WHIP
      Matt Moore: stats too terrifying to post; brutal tour through 
baseball's toughest division reminds us he's no Dylan Bundy
       Grant Balfour: "future closer," blah blah blah 
 
If anyone has questions or requires additional information, please feel 
free to email me.
--Brother Brad 

On Tue, May 22, 2012 at 8:47 PM, Jeffrey Winick <jhwinick at aol.com> 
wrote:
Another player traded to me by Brad Lee that bites the dust.  Rest 
assured it's all part of the evil genius's grand plan.  But look a 
little closer Mr. Jansen.  The Berliners roster was built to deal with 
contingencies such as this.  Mr. Getz will be replaced and the 
Berliners will be fielding a full offensive squad come Sunday.  No 
middle infielders needed.  And that light hitting third baseman from 
Boston - he hit a home run tonight in his first game back.  Check the 
standings oh ye bearer of doom.

But the Berliners are prepared to put this nonsense to rest and lock 
down the Damon.  To all of you who have some interest in building up 
your teams for next year, you know where to find me.  First one in line 
gets the best stuff.

That is all.

Jeff



-----Original Message-----
From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>

Sent: Tue, May 22, 2012 6:19 pm
Subject: [USML Announce] Berliners Getz More Bad News




ITEM

NEW YORK -- Needing pitching depth, the Royals called up left-hander 
Will Smith from Triple-A Omaha on Tuesday. At the same time, they 
placed second baseman Chris Getz on the 15-day disabled list with a 
left ribcage contusion, an injury he aggravated during Monday night's 
6-0 victory over the Yankees. The move gives the Royals a 13-man 
pitching staff.
LOSER
Berliners. Return of lighthitting Youkilis to threadbare offense of 
little moment with speedster Getz on DL with no reserve MI on call as 
this team is DOWN FOR THE COUNT.
WINNER
Bombers. Plenty of time to convince Berliners to take a try on Sogard 
as Bombers HAVE BERLINERS' NUMBER. 
 
 









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