[USML Announce] Notice Of Hot Wax Deal: Riptorns Make A Mutually Beneficial and Self-Satisfying Deal

[Andrew Klein]

An excellent trade between the Rips active and reserve rosters.

My problem is that the first half of my team was swindled for 
drunk-driving minor leaguers, .220-hitting Cuban outfielders on 
long-term contracts, and -- good grief! -- Lonnie Chisenhall.

Maybe it's time to start playing for 2015.  Mark Kerber, your guidance 
please ...

-Andy

On 7/1/13 6:12 PM, Brad Jansen wrote:
> The Riptorns are pleased to announce that they made a mutually 
> beneficial deal with themselves, trading Jose Reyes to the Inactive 
> Riptorns in exchange for Jayson Nix of the Active Riptorns.  "With so 
> many teams having differing definitions of what makes a trade 
> 'mutually beneficial,' I choose to take the safe route and trade only 
> with myself," explained Riptorns CEO Brad Jansen. "I commit to not 
> trading half my team to the other half to get fledgling rookie 
> pitchers, minor league 'stars*,' mediocre platoon players or 
> over-hyped past their prime PED abusers. Besides, I like negotiating 
> with myself. It's really quite pleasing."
>
> That is all, Saul.
>
> *Bryan Buxton excluded.
>
>
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