[USML Announce] Annual Who's Buying Whom Predictions

Brad Jansen bljansen at gmail.com
Thu Mar 14 18:32:37 EDT 2013


Jeff, I'll buy whoever it takes in order to get you to trade Jennings back
to me.
Respectfully,
BLJ

On Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 5:27 PM, Jeffrey Winick <jhwinick at aol.com> wrote:

> Given the well established tendencies of the USML owners, I hereby predict
> those players that will end up on each of our respective rosters:
>
>  *Red Hots*: Lance Berkman/Brett Myers/Bud Norris - Rich's tendency is to
> pick up players with a considerable delta between "market" value and
> "Shandler" value.  Berkman and Myers are therefore locks to be on the Red
> Hots.  Rich also often responds to my little annoyances.  That puts Mr.
> Norris is play.
> *Rip Torns*:  Peter Bourjos/Alexei Ramirez/Adam Dunn - Brad Lee like them
> young and under the radar (Bourjos) and, of course, likes his White Sox.
>  He'll also make a run at Fielder, but he'll drop out when the bidding hits
> $40.
> *Bombers*:  Trevor Plouffe/Brett Gardner/Evan Longoria/Matt Wieters - Mr.
> B drifts towards post-injury guys with big reputations.  Gardner and
> Longoria fit the bill perfectly.  He also tends to pick up former Berliners
> which makes Plouffe a strong candidate.  And in the midst of all of the
> ribbing that he'll be getting from Andy during the Wieters bidding, there's
> no way he doesn't pull the trigger.
> *Berliners:  *Kevin Youkilis/Ian Kinsler - Two Jewish players available
> in the draft.  And they're even halfway decent, to boot.  They will be mine!
> *Nukes*:  Albert Pujols/Prince Fielder - One of the two will be a Nuke.
>  Mark will screw around a bit too much trying to price enforce and he'll
> end up going a dollar too far.  He might also buy Youkilis or Kinsler if he
> isn't careful.
> *Klein Nine:  *Felix Dubront/Joe Saunders - The single most predictable
> thing in the draft is that the Klein Nine go cheap on pitching.  And they
> like two kinds of cheap pitchers (ok - three, if you count bad):  young
> pitchers with bad numbers that are hyped to improve and old workhorses.
>  Dubront is the epitome of the former and Saunders is the epitome of the
> latter.
> *Calamari:  *Jose Bautista/John Jaso/Paul Konerko/Derek Jeter* - *Unlike
> Brad Lee and John, Jim likes them old.  Konerko and Jeter are the two
> oldest productive players available, which makes them prime candidates for
> the Calamari.  Jim also develops man crushes and the guess here is that he
> won't be able to say goodbye to either Jose or Mr. Jaso.
> *Skippies:  *Albert Pujols/Prince Fielder/King Felix - Dennis is playing
> to win and he'll go after a proven commodity to provide the foundation.  My
> money is on Pujols since Skippy seems to have a soft spot for him.
> *Hoosiers:  *Jose Altuve/Elvis Andrus - It's easier to identify who won't
> be on Rick's team than who will be.  Luke Scott and Stephen Drew are both
> assholes and therefore disqualified as potential Hoosier Daddies.  So, who
> will he be drafting?  Rick is adept at identifying the young prospect on
> the verge of a breakout.  Altuve is the epitome of such a player.  Andrus
> is already a known quantity, but he's only 24 and Rick will like his
> chances to get better.
> *Angry Young Men:  *Mark Teixeira/Mariano Rivera/Alex Rodriguez -
> Assuming Doug isn't day dreaming about one of the young lovelies from a
> recent photo shoot, he will be thinking about the team from which he seems
> to always go - the Yankees.
> *Brats:  *Trevor Bauer/Vance Worley/Jared Burton - Just like Brad Lee,
> John likes them young, but when they're young and from Minnesota, he simply
> can't resist.  Worley and Burton are quintessential Brat pitchers.  And
> Trevor Bauer is the highest rated young arm on the board.  You can write
> his name in pen on the Brats roster.
>
>  I was tempted to send this to an independent third party and then have
> it redistributed after the draft.  But I believe that our respective
> tendencies are sufficiently strong that it won't affect the outcome.
>
>  Let's see.
>
>  Jeff
>
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