[USML Announce] PIPPIN'S PROJECTIONS ARE BACK!

[SpringKerb at aol.com]

For those of you who do not know Pippin, and even those who do, a bit of 
translation and explanation are in order.  You see, Pippin, like any critic, has 
her own strengths, weaknesses and biases.  It is only by understanding where 
Pippin is coming from that we can really understand and appreciate her 
selections.

First, Pippin is a dog.  Her prognostications are therefore dog-like:  
good-natured and energetic but (how shall I say this) a bit dim.  Second, Pippin has 
hung around for a long time with Andy, watching baseball.  Thus, she has 
adopted Andy's biases, most notably an excessive fascination with home runs and a 
strong aversion to anything resembling pitching.  So, here's what it all 
really means.

1.  Hoosier Daddies.  Pippin, being a good and loyal dog, is impressed with 
anyone who can fleece Andy in a trade.  Those of us who've been in the league 
for more than a couple of years are no longer so impressed.  What Pippin calls 
"modestly priced" power looks just plain modest from here.

2.  Berliners.  Duh.  Not quite bullet-proof, true enough.  But rock solid 
across the board.  Great retention roster, solid draft, what's not to like?  
Obvious top pick.

3.  Angry Young Men.  A classic Pippin/Klein/Liberman team.  Loads of power, 
but no speed or pitching at all.  Deep rotation?  Only if you're Jimmy 
Gobble's mom.  Move them down the list from here, by at least a couple of pegs.

4.  Klein Nine.  Pretty much the same as the Angries, except even more power 
and even less pitching.  Also over-rated by Pippin.

5.  Block's Bombers.  Pippin has never liked Mark Blocker.  I suspect they 
have issues going way back.  While Pippin is right to question the pitching, 
this team has a very good offense.  Should be ranked higher by at least a notch 
or two.

6.  Flaming Brats.  Pippin's ranking seems unduly optimistic in light of her 
unusually perceptive comments.  The comments are right and the ranking is 
wrong.  Apparently, Pippin's affinity for meat products led her to over-rate the 
Brats.

7.  Mighty Red Hots.  Pippin got this one right.  That's one.

8.  Lake Michigan Calamari.  Pippin's apparently no fan of sea food.  The 
Fighting Squid have some pitching challenges, but a solid offense.  They'll 
finish higher than this, unless they dump.  (It wouldn't be a bad idea, Jim.  Call 
me.)

9.  Buddha's Republicans.  Pippin got another one right.  Two right is a good 
year for Pippin.

10.  Gallo's Cups Full of Hearty Burgundy.  Three right for Pippin.  Career 
year.

11.  Nukes.  Incapable of finishing last under current rules, even with the 
maximum allowable dump.  That said, a lousy performance on draft day.  Look for 
the Nukes to finish (in increasing order of likelihood) first, second, or 
fifth.

Mark
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