[USML Announce] Winick Seeks to Ease Price of Prospects

[Brad Jansen]

His popularity at all time low, Jeff Win, Lose or Draw Winick has decided to
suspend trades for keepers and/or prospects until the Cartel of Dumpers can
convene on May Day.

"I'm inviting teams like the Riptorns, Bombers, Repubs and Klein 9 to meet
at one of my law firm's conference rooms to stanch the oppressive flow of
our quality players for the likes of low level minor leaguers and middle
relievers.  Trading A-Rod for Brandon Wood?  Enough already! I'm drawing a
line in the sand and I challenge the Red Hots and AYM and Great Lake
Calcimines to start offering better deals--or else: I'm perfectly prepared
to sit with Reggie Sanders and Nick Punto all season if I have to.  But I
will not allow my fellow dumpers to be badgered and  ridiculed into making
stupid deals, Craig Hansen excepted."

In other news, longtime Berliners critic Brad Jansen has been appointed
Winick's press secretary.  "It beats being Jeff's circus boy," explained
Jansen.  "Plus I now have yet another platform to trumpet the likes of stud
hitting catcher Ben Molina ($5/year 1).  I've never had a catcher who
actually played before....Ooops, sorry, Jeff--didn't mean to do any
marketing on your dime..."
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