[USML Announce] SHABES ANNOUNCES MOVE TO "STRONGER COMPETITION"!

[Brad Jansen]

Yeah, and Andy K. you also ought to take note that "666" Dundee is the Sign
of the Beast...so I'd say the Klein-Nine better get ready for their
Apocalypse...your keepers won't save you now!!
Brad the Anti-Klein

On 5/29/06, Brad Saks <bjsaks at earthlink.net> wrote:
>
> That's right.  It's not a coincidence that Shabes is vying for first place
> this year...By the way, it's spelled SAKS; and get used to it.  We'll be
> on
> top for a while.
>
> Dr. Brad Saks
> Health Psychologist
> President, North Shore Center for Weight Management
> 666 Dundee Road, Suite 502
> Northbrook, IL 60062
> 847-562-9355
> bjsaks at earthlink.net
> Faculty, Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine
> Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences
> Member, Academy of Cognitive Therapy
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Andy Klein" <anrklein at yahoo.com>
> To: "USML Announcements" <announce at usml.net>
> Sent: Monday, May 29, 2006 7:29 AM
> Subject: [USML Announce] SHABES ANNOUNCES MOVE TO "STRONGER COMPETITION"!
>
>
>   SHABES CONQUERS USML; PLANS MOVE TO "STRONGER COMPETITION"
>
>    GLENVIEW,  IL - When Brad Sachs attended the 2006 USML draft, most
> observers viewed him as a mere insurance policy.  "I figured he was only
> there to finish a bid in case Shabelman retched ," Buddha said.
>
>    Today, however, league officials learned that Sachs was much more.  In
> a
> statement faxed to USML headquarters, Shabelman announced Sachs as the new
> lead owner of the Angry Young Men.
>
>     "The USML has become too easy for me," Doug said.  "I need stronger
> competition."
>
>    Shabelman's decision comes on the heels of his fleecing the Block's
> Bombers.
>
>    "Thank God I could text Blocker on my Blackberry," Shabelman said in an
> exclusive interview.  "That way, he couldn't see me doubling over with
> laughter when he actually took my offer seriously.
>
>    "I knew that Klein had offered Coco Crisp ? a young .300 hitter with
> power and speed, batting leadoff in Boston.  Obviously, my roster had
> nothing to compete.  So, just for the hell of it, I threw out Nick
> Swisher's
> name.  I mean, who cares that he hit .236 last year.  Or that he was a
> .260
> hitter in more than 1000 minor league at-bats.  Or that he is mired in a
> massive slump even as we speak.  The only thing that mattered to Blocker
> was
> his label as a 'Winick Pick' in Fantasy Forecaster Magazine.  Man, it was
> like taking candy from a baby."
>
>    Shabelman paused to catch his breath.  "I'm too good for this league,"
> he
> chuckled.  "Next year, I've got to find a real challenge."
>
>    Despite repeated efforts, Andy Klein could not be reached for comment.
> League sources believe he is pounding his head on his desk, weeping
> uncontrollably.
>
>
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