[USML Announce] You Asked, Here Are Answers

[Brad Jansen]

Hi, guys!

Since our dysfunctional League Commissioners can't seem to be bothered to
answer any emails, let alone pick a stat service or put the Damon on a
championship tour, the USML Constitution authorizes all of the rest of us to
form a Committee of the Hole to restore order (it's right there, in the 14th
Amendment)
.
Here goes:
  Buddha--you want rosters? What the hell happened to personal initiative
and self-sufficiency?  You should have kept yours from last season and
updated it when hot wax deals were announced during the off-season.  In any
event, you'll know soon enough who is being retained...

  Jim!--You asked about Roster Freeze Day.  Per Article XVII it indeed
is *MARCH
15.*  Don't forget to specify long-term contracts.  Send roster freeze lists
to this address so we can get them at same time rather than wait for the
League Secretary, whoever the hell that is, to finish trimming his toenails
and sending it out to the rest of us several days later.  Submit these by
10:00 P.M. CDT and bet me MBB submits his last.

 Draft Day:  We begin at 8 a.m sharp, SAT, 4/7/07. Sidley & Austin. Bring
photo ID. This year cigars and alcohol are permitted.  The firm will cater
lunch. No children under 13 admitted irrespective of any alleged "ownership"
interest in a "team."

  A band known as Chicago once sang, "We can make it happen, ye-ah."  Well,
my fellow Holes, we can and must make it happen.
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