[USML Announce] Young Alex Says Goodbye, Mr. Mendoza, Hello Superstardom

[Brad Jansen]

Andy:
  Pardon me, but Jeffrey dictated that update, not me.  I simply channel his
wisdom when he's too busy to scribe. My time has been dedicated to revising
my team's performance measures, which have me overtaking the K-9 on or about
8/18/07, if not sooner given your team's injuries, lackadaisical performance
and bad karma brought on by your legislative initiatives.
  You had your chance and although you were able to dump waste products like
Dotel, Dukes and Fields (and continue to shamelessly market the likes of
Sean Rodriguez and Hayden "One Arm Hangin'" Penn), now that teams know they
can acquire real, legitimate talent at seasonal prices from Yours Truly,
your run 'o fun is at end.  And don't be surprised if you come to me asking
for Wood--assuming he's still there for your consideration.

Respectfully, and in your rear view mirror, just behind that bend,
Brad Lee Bad Ass


On 6/15/07, Andrew R. Klein <anrklein at yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> Thanks for the update, Brad.  Ten more BA points and Gordon will match
> that bum Corey Patterson you foisted upon me last year.  Also, I think you
> should at least give equal props to King Bean, who is now a comfortable 25
> points above the Mendoza Line in AAA.
>
> -Andy
>
> Brad Jansen wrote:
>
> Dispatch from the Winick Front:
>     Greetings, everyone.  I know there have been several rumors floating
> about concerning my well-being and personal hygiene.  I know some of you
> thought I was preparing for trial, but actually I just needed to get away
> for a spell and watch some baseball on satellite TV up here in Nova Scotia.
> Just a chance to catch some lobsters and let the hair grow on my legs for
> awhile.  But enough of me.
>
>     I just saw the future of baseball and its name is Alex Gordon.  After
> launching his second mammoth blast in just two days, Gordon finally has
> risen above .200 and his fortunes and batting average will continue to rise
> at a meteoric pace. As a fan and baseball purist, I am delighted that a lad
> of his skill, character and basic decency will soon bump Elijah Dukes off
> the pages of roto news.  I think all of us need to remember what the Great
> Game is all about, and why we watch it and why we play it with our kids (or,
> in my case, hire coaches to perform such mundane tasks). Watch Alex play,
> and your faith will be restored and your spirits renewed.  Go to a White Hen
> or a 7-11, perhaps a Walgreens...now, right now.  Buy a pack of baseball
> cards, stick them in your bicycle spokes, slide a glove over your handlebar
> and meet me at the park for some pitch and hit. Be sure to notify your
> doctor if your erection lasts over four hours.
>
> I'm gone, but not for good,
> JHW
>
> ------------------------------
>
> _______________________________________________
> announce mailing listannounce at usml.nethttp://lists.usml.net/mailman/listinfo/announce
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> announce mailing list
> announce at usml.net
> http://lists.usml.net/mailman/listinfo/announce
>
>
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: http://lyra.siteprotect.com/pipermail/announce/attachments/20070615/d90b0649/attachment.htm