[USML Announce] "Feliz" Navidad

[Jeffrey Winick]

And so it ends.

With the stunning announcement that Cliff Lee was headed to Philly, its 
now a lock that stud closer Neftali Feliz will turn over the closer 
reins to Frank Francisco and turn his attention to filling a spot in 
the middle of the Ranger rotation.

Brad Jansen, chief spokesman for the RipTorn franchise was 
uncharacteristically despondent, while characteristically pointing to 
yours truly as a scapegoat.

"What can I say?  Its a huge loss to the franchise.  We all know that a 
Texas starter isn't worth crap.  I've been swindled by the Berliners 
once again."   Shortly thereafter he was seen frantically sending out 
emails to gullible members of the USML looking for a victim upon whom 
to unload Feliz.

You can't say you weren't warned.

The King