[USML Announce] Ain't No Use In Ryan: Rips Suffer Catastrophic Blow To Bullpen Dreams

[Brad Jansen]

ITEM:
  Nationals acquired RHP Ryan Perry from the Tigers in exchange for RHP
Collin Balester.

LOSER:
   Riptorns.  Trade of Perry dims hopes of retaining nine closers and/or
closers-in-waiting.  "Let's see who the A's call upon to replace Andrew
Bailey," mused Rips captain Brad Jansen. "If either Tyson Ross or DeLos
Santos gets a shot, then I'm back on track."


ITEM:
    The NL West champion Arizona
Diamondbacks<http://espn.go.com/mlb/team/_/name/ari/arizona-diamondbacks>added
another front-line starter Friday and boosted their bullpen,
acquiring pitchers Trevor
Cahill<http://espn.go.com/mlb/player/_/id/30054/trevor-cahill>,
Craig Breslow <http://espn.go.com/mlb/player/_/id/6365/craig-breslow> and
cash from the Oakland
Athletics<http://espn.go.com/mlb/team/_/name/oak/oakland-athletics>
.

WINNERS:
   Bombers. Losing only keeper candidate in Cahill  frees owner to devote
winter months to obtaining Super Bowl tickets to watch beloved Packers.
    Brad Jansen: Will not have to write a column about Bombers' single
keeper candidate. Can continue work on ten-part series covering the
Berliners' dynasty.
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