[USML Announce] Rips Lose Their Jed As Tumultuous Off-Season Continues

[Brad Jansen]

ITEM:
>From ESPN.com:
BOSTON -- The Boston Red
Sox<http://espn.go.com/mlb/team/_/name/bos/boston-red-sox>tweaked
their bullpen and bench with a pair of moves Wednesday, acquiring
reliever Mark Melancon<http://espn.go.com/mlb/player/_/id/29446/mark-melancon>and
utility infielder Nick
Punto <http://espn.go.com/mlb/player/_/id/4946/nick-punto> in separate
deals. After losing closer Jonathan
Papelbon<http://espn.go.com/mlb/player/_/id/6373/jonathan-papelbon>in
free agency last month, the Red Sox obtained Melancon from the Houston
Astros <http://espn.go.com/mlb/team/_/name/hou/houston-astros> in a trade
for infielder Jed
Lowrie<http://espn.go.com/mlb/player/_/id/29074/jed-lowrie>and
right-hander Kyle
<http://espn.go.com/mlb/player/_/id/30521/kyle-weiland>

LOSER: Rips lose Jed Lowrie, a cornerstone of one of their numerous 2011
dump deals. In only 88 games, Lowrie belted 6 homers, drove in 36 Bosox and
qualified at multiple positions. "With Ryan Perry traded to the NL and Dan
Cortes dropped by the Mariners, my plan to retain 9 closers and could-be
closers has fallen apart. Now that Jed's done gone, it looks like I maight
end up keeping Adrian Beltre after all," Jansen opined while holiday
shopping with Jeffrey Winick.

WINNER: Berliners. Every crack in Riptorns' armor only bolsters Winick's
resolve to recapture the castle and don the champion's crown.  "I feel like
I already have won the 2012 Damon," proclaimed Winick. "The season is just
a formaility."
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