[USML Announce] K-9 Congratulates AL All-Star Starters

[Andrew Klein]

CARMEL, IN - Klein Nine ownership issued a statement today, 
congratulating six American League All-Star starters who operate under 
K-9-initiated contacts.  The players -- Adrian Gonzales, Alex Rodriguez, 
Jose Bautista, Curtis Granderson, Josh Hamilton, and David Ortiz -- were 
all drafted by the Nine between 2009-2011 at an average salary of about 
$18.

Fantasy baseball magazine glamor boy, Jeff Winick, marveled at the K-9's 
drafting acumen.  "No way we'd let him into my experts' leagues," Winick 
said.  "He'd kick my and Shandler's asses."

Beleaguered Nukes' owner, Mark Kerber, noted that the K-9 just missed 
having a seventh draftee start in the All Star game, when Russell Martin 
was edged out by Alex Avila edged in the last week of voting.  
Nevertheless, Kerber expressed gratitude at being a beneficiary of the 
Nine's eye for talent.  "Even though Martin didn't get the start, I have 
to feel good about owning a productive catcher -- especially one that I 
got for that piece-of-crap Kevin Gregg."  Kerber paused before adding, 
"Klein might be able to draft, but he's not so hot once the trading begins."

Brad Jansen, Mark Blocker, and Matt Wieters were not available for comment.