[USML Announce] K-9 Congratulates AL All-Star Starters

Jeff Winick jhwinick at aol.com
Mon Jul 4 12:52:15 EDT 2011


Mr. Blocker and Mr. Wieters would respond but they are too busy drafting their own self congratulatory statements. 

Did you miss the fact that Mr. Wieters is an all star, professor?  That's the kind of thing that disqualifies you from membership in the XFL. 

Sent from my iPhone

On Jul 4, 2011, at 11:42 AM, Andrew Klein <anrklein at yahoo.com> wrote:

> CARMEL, IN - Klein Nine ownership issued a statement today, congratulating six American League All-Star starters who operate under K-9-initiated contacts.  The players -- Adrian Gonzales, Alex Rodriguez, Jose Bautista, Curtis Granderson, Josh Hamilton, and David Ortiz -- were all drafted by the Nine between 2009-2011 at an average salary of about $18.
> 
> Fantasy baseball magazine glamor boy, Jeff Winick, marveled at the K-9's drafting acumen.  "No way we'd let him into my experts' leagues," Winick said.  "He'd kick my and Shandler's asses."
> 
> Beleaguered Nukes' owner, Mark Kerber, noted that the K-9 just missed having a seventh draftee start in the All Star game, when Russell Martin was edged out by Alex Avila edged in the last week of voting.  Nevertheless, Kerber expressed gratitude at being a beneficiary of the Nine's eye for talent.  "Even though Martin didn't get the start, I have to feel good about owning a productive catcher -- especially one that I got for that piece-of-crap Kevin Gregg."  Kerber paused before adding, "Klein might be able to draft, but he's not so hot once the trading begins."
> 
> Brad Jansen, Mark Blocker, and Matt Wieters were not available for comment.
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