[USML Announce] Rips Catch Carp While Pitchers Feast On Trout

[Brad Jansen]

ITEM:  Riptorns acquire Mariners slugger Mike Carp for only $5 in FAAB
action.

WINNER: Riptorns continue to bolster blistering offense with undervalued,
overlooked power hitters. As far as 2012 is concerned, this team's pennant
prospects are BOILING HOT.

LOSER: Berliners helpless as franchise cornerstone Justin Smoak plays
himself out of regular ABs. Team's 2012 hopes are FRIED.
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