[USML Announce] Grading The In-Season Dump Deals

Richard Robbins rerobbins at itinker.net
Mon Aug 6 23:30:55 EDT 2012


I suspect the school is going to lose its accreditation.

There are rumors that Professor Brad Lee has been accepting bribes in
return for grades.

On Mon, Aug 6, 2012 at 2:57 PM, Andrew Klein <anrklein at gmail.com> wrote:

>
> Dear Deans Robbins and Kerber,
>
> Please send me the grade appeal process!
>
> -K9
>
>
>
> From my Android phone on T-Mobile. The first nationwide 4G network.
>
> Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com> wrote:
> Good afternoon, class. I have waived this school's code of confidentiality
> and posted both your names and grades for this summer's in-season dump deal
> assignment. Needless to say, I am a bit disappointed in your overall
> efforts and utter lack of imagination. While I understand the Riptorns'
> off-season acquisition of Mike Trout will stand as The Greatest Trade Ever
> Made, by no means should you have set your sights so low and not even try
> to top that deal. Be that as it may, I have tried to generate more effort
> in analyzing your moves than you obviously did on making them:
>
> Incomplete: Adams Family Values. If any of these acquisitions remain in
> organized baseball long enough to come off the DL, then I'll assign a
> grade. I do recommend, however, that you retake this class and try your
> experiments on live creatures and not all these dead frogs.
>
> F:  Klein Nine.  Acquires mediocre kid pitchers and a closer that every
> media outlet projected would end up traded to the NL.  Guess aluminum foil
> does not generate great TV reception down there in Indiana. Gets a MI and
> OF who are utility players on any other team--oh, wait, Frenchy already
> is....Preparation so poor I should send you to the dean.
>
> D: Block's Bombers. Took all summer and half your team, but you did manage
> to land a 36-year old DH who will be batting from a walker next year
> assuming he can even stand on one leg. Nevertheless he's $1 and clearly
> will return value on your investment when not lounging in the whirlpool.
> Lester at $31 could be a steal if he can maintain an ERA below 5.00.
>
> C-: Mighty Red Hots. That independent study project photographing tires in
> rural America wreaked havoc with your studies. Dustin Ackley for
> chrissakes? Hopefully Cain won't need further DL stints to convince you to
> extend his contract next year. Otherwise, all I can say is "here's lookin'
> at Yu, kid" OK, enough puns on his name. I am soooo disappointed in your
> overall performance this year. From high honors to near rock bottom. Next
> summer take typing.
>
> B+ : Riptorns. Montero and Bundy very nice pick ups and will be team's
> mainstays for a long long while. I'd call Franklin and Lee a terrific
> keystone combo except they're both shortstops.
>
> A: Berliners. Fooled me. Thought you were playing for this year, but
> instead netted some nice cheap keepers for next summer's class: Doumit-8
> and soon-to-be-reinstalled closer Grant Balfour at 9 are solid guys as will
> be a rejuvenated John Danks at 17. Come here and get your certificate
> before your chauffeur arrives to take you to your spinning lessons.
>
>
> Class dismissed. Get the hell out of here, all of you.
>
>
>
>
>
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