[USML Announce] USML Week In Review; Pyrotechnics Edition

[Brad Jansen]

*FLAMING BRATS: *Team knows its offense in trouble when it's only 5 homers
ahead of the Riptorns. Can this team survive the  *NUKES' FALLOUT ZONE*?

*NUKES: *Offense in gear, but with better nos. in ERA/WHIP Nukes could
overwhelm opposition with their *ATOMIC PATTERN*.*  *
**
*BERLINERS: *Team resorts to bragging about Plouffe as championship
expectations have fallen *LIKE A BRICK*.

*MIGHTY RED HOTS: *Can't catch Berliners without a deal, but team content
to *HANGFIRE*.

*HOOSIER DADDIES: *Longoria resumes baseball activities--can team make a
run or is owner simply fighting a *BATTLE IN THE CLOUDS? *
**
*KLEIN NINE: *In light of team's disastrous BA and ERA, any place other
than last is cause for a *CELEBRATION ROLL.*
**
*LAKE MICHIGAN CALAMARI: *Konerko cannot lift team from offensive doldrums
as hopes for Damon *SHORT CIRCUIT*.

*ANGRY YOUNG MEN:* With Capps losing closer gig to rising Riptorn star
Jared Burton, this team is ready to *DETONATE.*
**
*BLOCK's BOMBERS: *Owner brags about Reddick while rest of roster *ONE BIG
MISFIRE*.

*RIPTORNS: *Team quietly stores its fireworks of talent as it readies
itself for next season's *BARRAGE.*
**
*ADAMS FAMILY VALUES: *Owner wraps himself in cloak of melancholia over old
baseball games as team remains *BOTTOM-FUSED.*
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