[USML Announce] Notice of Hot Wax: First Deal Of 2013--Ian Is Believin'

Brad Jansen bljansen at gmail.com
Mon Jan 21 16:41:03 EST 2013


The Klein Nine and Riptorns heralded President Obama's second term as
President and Lupe Fiasco's antiwar stance by announcing the first trade of
2013. The Riptorns parted company with veteran speedster Brian Still Tryin'
Roberts and young slugger Lonnie Chisenhall to acquire noted second sacker
Ian Kinsler.

"I needed to add a new dimension to my roster, and this deal meets by
learning and business objectives," explained Professor Klein. "I already
have a fairly substantial chunk of salary dedicated to players like
Granderson (25), Alexei Ramirez (24), Edwin Encarnacion (16) and Hector
Noesi (10). This move allows to me to  plug some offensive holes with
cheap, undervalued talent. I'm all about the former, if not the latter."

As for Jansen, "It just felt like the right time. It's always the right
time to do a deal. There simply was no place for Chisenhall on my roster
and if I had to move Roberts to get  Kinsler, so be it. With Andrus-Kinsler
anchoring my MI, I have a keystone combo I always dreamt about, especially
after seven Diet Cokes on draft day. Plus, I have a hedge if one or the
other gets traded to the NL. Let this deal be a statement to the rest of
the USML: this is the year the Rips get serious. Now, Calamari, call me
about Profar, please!!"
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