[USML Announce] Notice of Hot Wax Seal: Nukes and Rips Set Off Early 4th Fireworks

[Brad Jansen]

The Riptorns and Nukes are pleased to announce that the Riptorns traded $1
speedster Nate McLouth to the Nukes in exchange for slugging former Sox
farmhand Chris Carter.  "Watching all those bearded guys hoist the Stanley
Cup made me realize it's time to slap on the skates, check Winick into the
boards and skate off with the Damon," proclaimed Rips CFO Brad Jansen. "I
hereby declare the Rips' independence from the Calamari, Bombers,
Berliners, Angries and Red Hots. I'll soon be skating ahead of the pack
while those teams stare into an empty net. Carter provides exactly the kind
of high power, low average my team is built upon. The fuse has been lit.
Stand back, Winick, or that pretty face is gonna get singed."
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