[USML Announce] Fwd: Pippin's Nothing But A Dog - 2014

Tue May 13 15:21:04 EDT 2014

I sympathize with Jeffrey....the man offers up his outstanding critique ( mind you, not without a number of omissions, oversights and falty assessments) and it should elicit at least some modicum of reponse.  So here goes.

I can't argue with the self-assessment of the Berliners, clearly they are stocked nicely for the future with the flurry of dump trades already concluded.  While Red Hots and Bombers both have a number of redeeming qualities, I can't say I disagree with assessments for those squads.  Probably the same is true for Calamari, this team just need some of its players to start hitting a little bit...Fielder, Brad Miller, Chris Carter, Alex Avila....geez c'mon already.  

Like Skippy, I thought this AFV squad was destined for great things this year.  But then I looked and the calendar only said April 15th.  Lots of bad luck so far with Morrow, Pineda and Jarrod Parker.  A few question marks whether Sizemore, Callaspo and Solarte can be anything but marginal starters.  But still a pretty formidable lineup.

As for the 'contender' group,  it's no coincidence this is largely the group that has participated in early-season trades with the Berliners (K-9 excluded) and lo and behold find themselves stocked with a lot of richly priced talent.   Stands to reason they look really good on paper right now.  Nukes starting pitching looks scary good even without Darvish, but Tyler Skaggs and his 5.60 ERA do nothing for me or hopefully anybody else as trade bait.  And apparently Chris Colabello may have recorded had his last rbi of the season back toward the beginning of May.  And this team still needs to get production from Corey Hart, Teixeira and Soriano - anything but guaranteed.  

K-9 pitching still worries me,, least not because the combination of Scott Kazmir, Justin Masterson, Zach McAllister and Drew Smyly have collectively derailed the Brats' pitching stats for the better part of the last half decade.  But hell, maybe they will keep it up this year.  Yordana Ventura and Sonny Gray look like the real deal, and K-9 has them in pocket for future collateral.  The offense is again loaded with a bunch of maulers, but I am glad I dropped out of the bidding for JJ Hardy at $3 and steered clear of Jason Kubel.   If Michael Bourn ever steals a base again in his lifetime, that is just extra gravy for this offense.  

I agree not many weak spots in Hoosier Daddies lineup.  Problem is, not a lot of studs either.  A lot riding on Sabathia, Verlander and RA Dickey, all who have struggled at one point or the other over the course of last two years.  Getting Sale back will be huge.

AYM look to me as most complete squad.  The offense is already intimidating without getting much to date from Nick Swisher and Chris Davis.  If Annibal Sanchez comes back in true form, this is really going to be a tough team to contend with.

Oh yes, Brats...can't argue the returns on 2013 trades have been minimal so far, but partly because of Alex Cobb being DL'd and Nick Franklin being, well, ....Nick Franklin.  But Reddick has shown sign of life, Zunino is fine and Cody Allen may be Cleveland's closer before I finish this missive.  And stud prospect Aaron Sanchez you will hear from soon enough.  With one solid closer in Perkins and 3 other future closers-in-waiting, I'd take issue that the cupboard is bare-    and certainly no more bare than the whole list of contenders where I seen no more than a handful of undervalued keeper talent.

So fret not cellar-dwellars and also-rans....the season is young!

From: jwinick at harriswinick.com
To: announce at usml.net
Date: Sun, 11 May 2014 09:56:50 -0500
Subject: [USML Announce] Fwd:  Pippin's Nothing But A Dog - 2014

Unfortunately it turns out that I hadn't secured full licensing rights to utilize Mr. Jansen's name in print. I'm afraid I am therefore compelled to withdraw the 2014 version of Pippins Nothing But A Dog. 
Seeing that no one has apparently read it, I don't expect that to cause much inconvenience. 
Sorry for the interruption. 
Jeff Winick

Sent from my iPhone
Begin forwarded message:

From: Jeff Winick <jhwinick at aol.com>
Date: May 8, 2014 at 6:52:05 PM CDT
To: "announce at usml.net" <announce at usml.net>
Subject: [USML Announce] Pippin's Nothing But A Dog - 2014
Reply-To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>

Pippin’s Nothing But a Dog – 2014

Projected Standings

The Better Luck
Next Year Division

10.          Berliners –
First to dump and has the results to show for it.  Bogaerts, Profar, Archer, Garcia, Darvish
bolster a bunch of beans that could explode (Buxton, Gallo, Sano, Lindor).  2014 looks ugly, but 2015 and beyond is
looking very good. 

9.            Red Hots –
Came to the draft as a man on a mission……to rebuild.  The process hasn’t yet begun, presumably
because the team started strong out of the gate.  But this is a team built for 2015 and
beyond.  Only a question of when, not
whether the dumping begins.

8.            Brats –
Early returns aren’t looking too good on the late season trades of 2013 and the
cupboard is looking decidedly bare. 
Worse yet, this is not a team that has a realistic shot at contention in
2014.  The Brats may not know it yet, but
they’re still in rebuilding mode. 
Whether they figure it out or not – this team will not be holding the
Damon after the last pitch of the regular season has been thrown. 

The With A Little
Help from My Friends Division

7.            Block’s Bombers
– A team with not near enough offense to play with the big boys.  The middle infield is frightening and the
corners are only a little bit better. 
The pitching will play, though ERA and WHIP could be a little bit
dicey.  Bottom line is that this is a
team that could and should get better. 
But the Bombers only make a trade a couple times a decade and I’m not
sure it’s that time yet.  Worse yet, rumor
has it that Chisenhall will be the key chip used to attract the attention of
the dumpers.  Another Drive for Five is almost
surely in store for the Bombers.

6.            Calamari –
Not enough at bats due to too many old guys on the roster (Konerko, Jeter,
Ichiro) and the consequences show up in every offensive category.  The pitching needs to get and stay healthy,
but the addition of a couple of big bats (like Cespedes and/or Santana, just
for example) could turn this team from pretender to contender in a hurry. 

5.            Adams Family Values
– Skippy caught lightening in a bottle with Abreu and that has him in the hunt.   This is a solid team – the problem is that
the 4 yet to be mentioned are better. 
It’s tough to win when your starting lineup includes guys like Morrison,
Callaspo, Sizemore and Maxwell.  Drop
Cespedes or Santana onto this roster and ….. magic.  The pitching is dependent upon a lot of young
arms, but could be and should be excellent.  
 AFV could make things interesting
if Skippy can find enough time away from his day (and night) job to focus.

The This Could Be the
Year Division

The first thing you notice about the upper division is that
3 of the 4 teams had the good judgment to talk to the Berliners and fill key
holes.  Only 1 rebuffed Mr. Winick’s
entreaties.  He would be wise to either
reconsider or start working on the Red Hots and/or Brats or he’ll find the
season slipping away.

4.            Angry Young Men
– Right there with the Nukes as the best offense in the league.  Unfortunately, that’s where the similarities
end.  An infusion of solid pitching made
this team much better, but a lot still depends on major question marks like Jimenez,
Richards and Chen.  That’s a little
scary.  Has some nice beans and Jonathan
Schoop to get some more trustworthy replacements and some more saves.  If it happens, watch out for the AYM.  

3.            Hoosier Daddies
– Solid across the board on both sides of the ledger.  Offense is rock solid without a single slot
occupied by anything other than a top notch player.  Pitching is similarly stocked, though boy
would it have helped if Griffin hadn’t gone under the knife.  But a shrewd trade put this team squarely in
the hunt for the Damon.

2.            Klein Nine –
Killer pitching (wait….is this really the Nine that I’m talking about??) is the
foundation of this team.  And the offense
is rock solid, but the few less productive slots will ultimately be the
difference between holding the Damon and wistfully looking on as someone else
grabs the prize.  Proclaiming victory
less than a month into the season creates bad karma and to add insult to
injury, the Dean had the audacity to declare “bring it on” to The Curse.  Nope…..not gonna happen in 2014.

1.            Nukes – Now
that the curse has been removed, the future looks very bright for the Nukes.  This team projects to be near the top in every
offensive category except for batting average. 
Thanks to good friend Mr. Winick, the pitching is now anchored by the
reigning Cy Young winner and backed up with the likely AL Rookie of the Year.  Sure, there are some question marks in the
rotation.  And there’s a need for Janssen
to come back healthy and soon.  But the
Nukes know how to deal and have a long history trading with the one team with
the best remaining goods - Red Hots. 
With guys like Tanaka, Springer and Skaggs as bait, the expectation is
that this team is going to get even better. 
Here’s your 2014 Champion!

That is all.

Brad Lee Badfinger Jansen (with a little help from his friend, Mr. Winick)

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