[USML Announce] Notice of Hot Wax Deal: Rips-Nukes Edition

Jeffrey Winick jhwinick at aol.com
Fri Apr 5 11:30:43 EDT 2013


Dear Brad Jung Un,


Your declaration of war is about as credible as that of your cousin.  Jennings is, and will remain, a Berliner.  He's much happier now that he's escaped the evil empire.  Your chances of glorious victory are roughly akin to those of the North Koreans - none.  But do keep on playing with your warhead if it makes you happy.  I'd just ask that you do it behind a closed door and please don't tell us about it.  


Jeff



-----Original Message-----
From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Fri, Apr 5, 2013 8:57 am
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] Notice of Hot Wax Deal: Rips-Nukes Edition


The Riptorns are tired of being treated like North Korea. We have and will use our warheads. Troops of our cheap keepers are amassed at the borders of the 8th and 7th place parallels. They are prepared to  advance and lead the Rips to glorious victory. Winick, I hereby void all trade agreements, pacts and treaties between the Berliners and Riptorns. If you care about your team, it's best you surrender Scherzer to me immediately.


--BLJ,
  High Commander


On Fri, Apr 5, 2013 at 7:08 AM, Blocker, Mark B. <mblocker at sidley.com> wrote:


I guess he did not want to dump to the team in first place.





-----Original Message-----
From: springkerb at aol.com [springkerb at aol.com]
Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2013 10:37 PM Central Standard Time
To: announce at usml.net
Subject: Re: [USML Announce] Notice of Hot Wax Deal: Rips-Nukes Edition

Blocker was trying to get Brad to dump to him, but I beat him to it.  Rich and Jeff--you are soooooo toast.  I'm comin' after you.






-----Original Message-----
From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
Sent: Thu, Apr 4, 2013 5:32 pm
Subject: [USML Announce] Notice of Hot Wax Deal: Rips-Nukes Edition


The Riptorns and Nukes are pleased to announce the following transaction, all of which is in accord with the USML Constitution and the Boundaries of Good Taste:


The Riptorns trade Aaron Hicks and Carlos Carrasco to the Nukes.
The Nukes trade Matt Joyce and Grant Balfour to the Riptorns.


Andy, if your SP is so deep that you can afford to keep studs like Ubaldo and Humber on your reserve roster, we need to talk.


That is all.


--Brother Brad Lee







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