[USML Announce] Fwd: Handicapping The Horses At The Halfway Mark

[Dennis Adams]

Brad, I didn't see the Skippies included in the horse race. A gross
oversight, I presume.
On Jul 27, 2013 1:18 PM, "Brad Jansen" <bljansen at gmail.com> wrote:

> Boys, just remember what the Prophet said a few weeks ago......
>
> ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> From: Brad Jansen <bljansen at gmail.com>
> Date: Fri, Jul 5, 2013 at 1:36 PM
> Subject: Handicapping The Horses At The Halfway Mark
> To: USML Announcements <announce at usml.net>
>
>
> (Dictated but not proofread by Jeffrey Winick):
>
>     *Berliners  *
>         Why they'll win:  Brilliant strategist has proven track record of
> taking all action necessary to destroy opposition. Lackey and Danks stay on
> upswing, lowering team ERA and adding more points. Plenty of salary cap
> space for Major Deal.
>          Why they won't: Lack of second closer and power hitter leave team
> vulnerable to precipitous point drop. Klein Nine's Perez and Viceido solve
> those needs. Hullo....
>
>     *Mighty Red Hots*
> *         *Why they'll win: With SP back on track, more points for the
> taking. Someone (e.g., Klein Nine) will take bait for likes of Franklin and
> Zunino.
>          Why they won't: Salary capped out, patchy offensive production
> takes another hit with Willingham down, and teams won't dump for likes of
> Franklin and Zunino.
>
>     *Blocks Bombers*
> *          *Why they'll win: N/A.
>           Why they won't: Pitching staff stuffed with likes of Torres,
> Lyles, Kluber and Medina should not, cannot and will not lead any team to
> the Promised Land.
>
>      *Lake Michigan Calamari*
>            Why they'll win: Joey Bats, Pujols and Hamilton launch team out
> of offensive cellar while pitching remains League's finest.
>            Why they won't: Joey Bats, Pujols and Hamilton incapable of
> launching team out of offensive cellar.
>
>     * Riptorns *
> *            *Why they'll win: League's elder statesmen and gentle soul
> acquired solid core of winning veterans via fair trades and, besides, good
> things sometimes happen to public employees.
>             Why they won't: Forces of evil, spearheaded by likes of
> Berliners, stop at nothing to tear down this old man's dream.
>
>
>
>
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