[USML Announce] Riptorns' 2013 Retention Roster

[Brad Jansen]

Barring something unforeseen or a scathing rebuke from Winick, here is my
retention list (and I will reiterate that Mark Blocker always is the last
guy to submit; you can look it up):

C        Jesus Montero         Y2       $2           No catcher will
produce as much bang for the buck this year.

3B      Will Middlebrooks     Y2       $1           No third baseman will
produce as much bang for the buck this year.

3B      Mike Moustakas     LT14    $10           No Royal will belt as many
taters as the Moose.

OF      Tank Viciedo          LT14     $6           Put him on the board,
yes!

OF      Mike Trout               Y2     $15           Somewhere, over
Winick's rainbow, my dream came true.

P        Dylan Bundy            Y2      $5            Why the fuck not?

P        Ryan Cook              Y2      $5            Winick cut $9 Balfour
because he knew what you now know: the Cook is in the kitchen, bros.

P        David Robertson      LT14   $10           *See *Bundy, Dylan.


MINOR LEAGUERS

3B     Miguel Sano   $2         Plouffe? Little stands in this slugger's
path to stardom.

SS     X. Bogaerts    $5         Stephen Drew? Don't Bogaerts that
position, my friend.

OF     A. Hicks        $5          Will Twins Aaron side of caution and
wait to call upon Hicks? Either way, Klein's decision to retain Mastroianni
raises even more
                                            questions about his ability to
scout, nurture and develop young talent.

OF     W. Myers     $10          Come July, you'll say, "What? Winick only
wanted Jennings for this guy??"
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