Brad:
Thank you kindly for your message, which actually made me chuckle. In the Post Riptorn-Dump part of the season (April 15 onward ?), we have not heard nearly as much from you as usual (insert here debate about whether that is a plus or minus). But please, must you lampoon one of my few remaining hobbies? Now that my limited roto skills make my team perennially non-competitive, I cannot reach the roto summits, so outdoor summits are all I have. And I can scrimp and save all I want, but that won’t allow me to buy enough help for draft day. And let me assure you that you will not see footage from our trip on “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” or its sister-show, “The Shandler Arizona Fall League Conference/Gathering of Pixelated Roto Pundits.” My permit to climb Mt. Whitney cost $5 — about the same as the ice cream cone you are saving for — all of my water was free (no charge to dip your bottle in the streams), and what few groceries I brought fit into one small shopping bag purchased from a run-down store in the heart of Death Valley and returned change from my $20. And keep in mind, I am not driving to the summit — this is old-fashioned leg power, available for far less than the $5/gallon that you spend to keep refueling that 2008 SUV of yours. So next time, please grab a backpack and we can look together for this Path to Righteousness of which you speak…
— Mark B.
P.S. The guys I traded to Rich, while valuable to a contender, have contract status “FA,” not Y2 with a $2 keeper salary, so be careful not to cast stones from your glass house!