right on queue, as most of America readies for the barbecue season, the league’s lone remaining wiener-themed squad has caught fire. I mean, so much so, these Brats require being flipped and moved to the side of the grill. These surging sausages have even caught the eye of former league owner Brad Jansen. Jansen, reached for comment while sitting with his toes in the water, ass in the sand, and two-thirds of the way through a mango cooler, quipped “I’ve been watching this current USML race from afar, and I think it is time for the Bombers and Berliners to be very concerned . I mean, wow, how did this team accumulate so much underpriced talent without anyone taking notice?”
Team owner John Fruit, reached while eating a Kroll’s hamburger across from Lambeau Field while discussing the Packers Super Bowl chances with other local patrons, was also at a loss to explain his embarrassment of riches. “I mean, Michael Saunders at $1? I know the rest of the league was taking a bathroom break when the auction bidding reached $1, but I was still surprised to get him there.” Fruit, who claims no involvement in the huge neon Nuveen sign perched above the left field bleachers at Wrigley, was mum on potential trades that may bolster the Brats’ chances for a second league title, but said many of the low-priced talent residing on the roster was available for a price, albeit a steep one.
Finally, the lunchtime gathering at Kroll’s were unanimous in their prediction that the Packers would win the Super Bowl this coming season, and that frankly it wouldn’t even be close.