Andy Klein on the Tradition of USML Team Names

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    Andy Klein
    Participant

    April 2004

    As you know, Buddha has named his expansion franchise “Republicans”. It struck me that this is the USML’s first overtly political team name since the demise of Alex Leiberman’s “Democrats for Nixon”. With that in mind, I have attempted to create an historical categorization of all USML team names.

    -Andy

    POLITICS

    • Buddha’s Republicans (Bill S.).
    • Democrats for Nixon (Leiberman II).
    • Win-ick-Ben-Ein Berliners (Winick). The name alludes to JFK’s famous “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech. At various times, Jeff also has called his team “Win-Ick Berliners”, “Winickohns” (in honor of his marriage to the former Carolyn Kohn), and – originally – “Win-Ickys”, which may have been the most appropriate name of all!!
    • Marked to the Market (M.Winick). Not exactly a political name. But a good moniker for the “Roaring Nineties”!

    PERSONALITY AND PHYSICAL DISORDERS

    • Rothmanic Depressives/Rothmaniacs (Emily Rothman & Dad).
    • Angry Young Men (Linton, Doug S.).
    • Gimps (Evan Krause)

    WARMONGERERS

    • Ike’s Generals (Josh E.).
    • Hank’s Marshalls (Hank Marshall).

    REGIONAL AND ETHNIC PRIDE

    • Czar’s Polish Eagles (Czar).
    • Hoosier Daddies (Rick G.).

    FOOD AND DRINK

    • Mighty Red Hots (Rich R.). This team was originally known as the “Fenway Franks”. After the birth of Rich’s first child, the team was known as “Joseph’s Mighty Red Hots” for several years.
    • Flaming Brats (John F. and Jeff C.).
    • Dirty Water Dogs (Steve Campo). A reference to the hot dogs sold by street vendors near Yankee Stadium.
    • Old Style Light (Leiberman I).

    BASEBALL

    • Block’s Bombers (Mark B.).
    • Klein Nine (Andy K.).
    • Iowa-na-wins (Sheila B.).

    ANIMALS

    • Lake Michigan Calamari (Jim B.).
    • Iowa Goats (Jeff Hafferman). This team was the predecessor to Iowa-na-wins (See “Baseball” category, above).
    • Lubeasts (Frank Luby).

    CULTURAL ICONS

    • Nukes (Kerber). Named, in part, after Nuke LaLoosh from the movie “Bull Durham”.
    • Riptorns (Jansen & Rogers).
    • Wilson’s Picketts (Dave Wilson).

    PRE-MODERN ERA NO-NAMES

    Several franchises played for one season in 1989 and did not even bother to name their team. In alphabetical order, these teams were: Curt’s Team, Dafton’s Team, Dave/Tom, Fran’s Team, Jeff Aranoff, and Pete Rickett’s Team.

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