D-Mat Shines, Winick Whines

USML Forums Forums Brad Being Brad D-Mat Shines, Winick Whines

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    • #3264
      Brad Jansen

      An Announcement From Jeffrey Winick:

      “Yesterday afternoon I sat back in my over-stuffed leather recliner in my luxurious corner office suite, flicked on the satellite dish and sat stunned as I watched the Red Sox-Marlins game on my flat screen HDTV.  Even my partner Steven Stein had to stop billing for 30 seconds to watch Daisuke Matsuzaka’s electric pitching performance.

      “He’s better than Clemens in his prime… Johann Santana…you name an ace…and certainly grades out better than Jake Westbrook and has better manners than Kenny Rogers.  I project he’ll return +$45 in value for the Daddies.  And when one factors in Justin Verlander and Jon Papelbon and their preposterously low salaries and high value for the Daddies, you are compelled to reach the same conclusion as me:

      “It’s over.

      “Now, you know that I am not one to dump two years in a row, but now I’m sorry for even contemplating a Run for the Damon this year. Why o! why did I trade guys like Brandon Wood, Evan Longoria, Jason Kubel and ZachGreinke…for what? I asked myself yesterday as I watched Dice-K’s dominantperformance.

      “And I grew even more disheartened when I looked at the available starting pitching this season.  There’s Johann Santana, likely to go for $40-plus, then there’s Mark Buehrle and all the other mediocrities.  Will teams throw good money after medicore starters?  Or will their money be spent instead on power hitters and speed merchants, thus inflating their salaries beyond any reasonable return on investment?

      “Frankly, my dears, I don’t give a Damon.  I don’t care if we ever retain a stat service, I don’t care if we ever have to submit reserve lists, I don’t care if Andy buys another puppy.  In fact I don’t care period.

      “Thanks, Rick, for ruining my season.  Congratulations. You win again.

      “That truly is all.  That’s it. Fini. I’m serious. I’m walking, not talking. You understand what I say here, guys?”

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