DUMP Update – Elijah Dukes It Out for the Last Time

USML Forums Forums Not For Emily DUMP Update – Elijah Dukes It Out for the Last Time

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    • #2592
      Jeff Winick

      In what must certainly be considered a serious blow to Brad Lee’s 2007 prospects, Elijah “Can’t We All Just Get Along” Dukes, appears to have called it quits. Apparently, the Devil Rays have now figured out what all of the USML owners (save Brad Lee himself and maybe Rich) had long since concluded: Elijah Dukes is just too angry to play baseball. Sure makes you wonder what the Devil Rays are feeding their pups, cuz clearly Delmon is eating at the same table. This just in off the wires:

      “Elijah Dukes said he might quit baseball after being suspended indefinitely Tuesday by the Rays pending an investigation into his five-game suspension by the International League. Dukes, who was slated to return to Triple-A Durham’s lineup tonight, was suspended by the leagues after he was ejected for arguing balls and strikes on July 25. “I have no idea when or if I’ll be back,” Dukes said. “I packed up all my stuff and I’m headed home. To be honest, I don’t even know about baseball anymore. Everything is just wearing on me and this year has just been so frustrating. I’m trying to keep my nose clean and keep to myself, but things just keep getting turned around. I’m tired of it.”

      Just another public service announcement from your friends at DUMP.

      Jeffrey Winick

    • #2593
      Richard Robbins

      I thought you had to be out of kindergarten before you were allowed to play professional baseball. Clearly, I was wrong.

      How about a pool on how many years before Dukes is doing time?


    • #2594
      Richard Robbins

      Enough already. I don’t negotiate in public but I’ll make an exception in this case:

      BUDDHA: show us your compassion as well as your conservatism. Here’s your chance to acquire Delmon’s team/cellmate, a $5 stud by the name of Elijah Dukes, who you can have straight up for Mark Buehrle, who’s getting cuffed around as I type this. Offer good until Rich Robbins comes up with better deal for Dukes, who I know he truly covets. Dukes needs a good, supportive environment — he can be nurtured but I have too much to deal with right now. So, Buddha–adopt him, please.


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