Easter Day Piracy Resurrects Berliners’ Pennant Hopes

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      Brad Jansen

      It was all hands on deck on the Winick Schooner of Fortune as the hearty fantasy captain negotiated a breathtaking deal that freed two minor leaguers from the grips of the mighty Bombers (sorry, Red Hots, you’re just not that mighty this year).

      “Understand this, mateys,” growled the wizened old Winick. “The deal that sent Vernon Wells and Maggs Ordonez to the Bombers for Wieters and Matusz puts me back in the hunt for The Damon this year.  I’ll tell you why: I project that beginning in late May, Wieters will provide me 300 + at bats, with 35 home runs, 99 RBIs and a .450 BA.  That’s enough for me to net several batting points, assuming I have at least one other active hitter on my roster.  Matusz….well, who knows, but he has a a cool name, and if he *does *get activated during his contract term I project many many strikeouts.  So clearly this deal puts me back in the sea hunt.”

      The seafaring merchant Mark Blocker was far more sanguine. “I know some owners will want to crucify me for trading impact players such as Wieters and Matusz for up-and-comers Wells and Maggs.  But it was time for me to dump excess ballast.  I really think Wells and Maggs are entering their peak, prime years and their salaries were too good to pass up. I fully expect to build my 2010 team around them.”

      “Whatever,” replied Winick.  “But all ye should know this: the Coin of the Realm this season is the Minor Leaguer. That is all.  Arrggghhh.”

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