The Berliners’ nascent championship hopes for 2007 took a nosedive when news sources confirmed that flamethrower Francisco Liriano will be lost for the year.
“The Question now is: Garza at $23?” pondered Jeffrey Winick as he selected his favorite sun screen before ducking into a cabana at his secret Scottsdale resort, steeling himself for a long evening of fantasy baseball, cigars, credit card slips and plausible denials.
“Bottom line is without Liriano my ship is rudderless, but I really can’t worry about him now,” proclaimed Winick, a few hours from being crowned the King of the XFL Xperts Fantasy League (*see *fantasyexperts.com for details of Winick’s winning ways, but make sure children and intolerant spouses are not near the computer). “Now please, leave me be. I must get this robe shortened and this staff is way too long. Ooohh, look, there’s Ron Shandler! Where did he buy* that* thong?!”