Taking a break from hanging his office holiday decorations, Berliners CEO Jeff Winick took time to climb down his ladder and praise the prescience of Riptorns helmsman Brad Jansen.
“About the only owner who noticed the Riptorns’ acquisition of Julio Lugo from the Nukes last August was Doug the Smug Shabelman, who whined about the Rips acquiring Shane Costa for some overpriced non-retainable guy I cannot even remember,” chuckled the effervescent Winick. “But little did Shabes or the rest of the USML know that Lugo–then toiling for the Dodgers– was they key to the trade and a gamble that now will pay off in spades for the Rips. As a leadoff hitter for the Red Sox, I expect Lugo to score anywhere from 150-200 runs, along with a solid BA and 20 plus steals.
“Jansen’s brilliance shines almost as brightly as my Hanukkah lights. It pales only to my brilliance, which will be sorely tested as I hastily peddle Rocco Baldelli before he ends up on the Marlins. Someone call me, please, unless you’re Klein looking for his money.
“That is all, until my next dispatch about Octavio Dotel landing a closer gig for the Indians or Devil Rays–that’s right, that Dotel (Riptorns $2).”