Matsui Generis: League Has Little Pity for Anxious Young Men

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      Brad Jansen
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      “If I do say so myself, and at the risk of painting my self-portrait in somewhat immodest hues, I can acknowledge my genius in trading Hideki Matsui when I did,” intoned baseball rotisserie oracle  Jeff  Winick.   “Players of his age, ethnic origin, height, weight and dietary supplements are at increasingly unacceptable risk of fracturing their wrists, with a 65% likelihood of the right wrist sustaining the injury and a 49% probablility that the injury is season– if not career– ending.”  Winick quipped, “The Angries will finish no worse that 4th, since Matsui is well past his peak performance years, and I say that with a self-confidence to self-abuse ratio of 1.0.  Time for me to go.  I have a book of new baseball fantasy magazine poses I need to peruse tonight in order to prepare for my next modelling session.”

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